IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

􏰢. Explain how completing the course will be of benefit to the applicant.

I believe that
after
Change preposition
apply
show examples
completion
Replace the word
completing
show examples
 of
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
 in Australia would be a wonderful opportunity for me to enhance my personal development skills and gain
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
specialized courses
such
Linking Words
 as
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
show examples
 field.
This
Linking Words
 will help me to learn the specific skills which will be useful in
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
 situations.
In addition
Linking Words
, providing more job opportunities, great
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 and
improving
Wrong verb form
improved
show examples
 English language skills.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To reach a higher band score, try providing specific examples or case studies that demonstrate the benefits you've mentioned.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between your sentences and making sure each idea leads smoothly to the next. Transition words like 'moreover,' 'therefore,' or 'furthermore' can make your writing more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Consider developing a more structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion to better frame your arguments.
task achievement
You have clearly outlined the key benefits of completing the course in Australia, such as enhanced personal development, job opportunities, and improved English skills.
task achievement
You have managed to cover multiple aspects in a concise manner, which is excellent for task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialized knowledge
  • career aspirations
  • employability
  • job prospects
  • qualifications
  • industry-recognized
  • personal growth
  • development
  • exposure
  • new perspectives
  • professional network
  • peers
  • instructors
  • industry professionals
  • language proficiency
  • communication skills
  • second language
  • practical application
  • theoretical knowledge
  • projects
  • internships
  • confidence
  • motivation
  • educational milestone
  • academic pursuits
  • higher education
  • specialized certifications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: