IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today esaier. Others disagree Discuss the both views and give your own opinion

#people #technology #esaier
The importance of purchasing daily needs by using current technology which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial while others reject
this
 notion.The substantial influence of
this
 trend has sparked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
controversy over
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 potential impact in recent years.In my opinion,the former propositional appears to be more rational.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate my views of
this
 trend &
thus
 will lead to a logical conclusion. There are myriad
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reasons which will
further
 explain
this
 argument but the most preponderant one stems from the fact that utilizing
internet based
Add a hyphen
internet-based
show examples
 visa cards,
master
Correct word choice
and master
show examples
 cards gives more flexibility while
ecommerce
Correct your spelling
eCommerce
e-commerce
transaction
Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
show examples
. Another pivotal aspect of
this
 argument is that it gives
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 opportunity to buy anything from anywhere through online based shopping platforms;daraz,amazon. Needless to say,all these merits stand in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good stead.
However
 ,there are some pitfalls that negate these arguments & which can certainly overwhelm the potential influence of these trends but
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
one
show examples
ones
Fix the agreement mistake
one
show examples
 of the most alarming
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 that e-commerce
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 may fraud with
Add an article
a customer
the customer
show examples
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
 like;
oder
Correct your spelling
or
 submit for t-shirts but they
delivery
Replace the word
deliver
show examples
 cosmetics items.
Besides
, it is a lengthy process when anyone
submit
Change the verb form
submits
show examples
order
Add an article
an order
the order
show examples
 from outside of the country.
Hence
 ,it is apparent why many are against
these trend
Change the determiner
this trend
these trends
show examples
. According to the arguments aforementioned above,one can reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 conclusion that the benefits of
latest
Add an article
the latest
show examples
 technology for online transactions are instrumental indeed.
Neverthless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
,its potential drawbacks should not be overlooked either.
Submitted by sharifsujon14 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: