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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graphs below show data on Australian trades with three other countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graphs below show data on Australian trades with three other countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#graphs #show #data #australian #trades #three #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line graphs illustrate information about
Australia
’s level of
imports
 and exports with
China
,
Japan
, and the United
States
 from 2002 to 2008.
Overall
, it is readily apparent from the graphs that
Australia
 exported more to the United
States
 and
Japan
 than that of its
imports
.
However
, the bilateral
trade
 between
Australia
 and
China
 followed a different trend.
Although
Australia
’s
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 to
Japan
 began at 40 and remained stable until 2005,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak
61
Change preposition
of 61
show examples
 in 2006, followed by a steady decline to around 50 in 2008.
However
, when it comes to
trade
 with the United
States
,
Australia
’s
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 always remained double (40) than that of its
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
show examples
 (20) and stayed stable until 2006, when both
imports
 and exports started rising gradually.
On the other hand
,
initially
Add a comma
,initially
show examples
Australia
 exported more (40) to
China
 than that of its
imports
 (30), and the
export
 remained the dominant player until 2008 when the level of
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
show examples
 from
China
 exceeded that of the
export
 and kept rising
sharp
Change the word
sharply
show examples
. In fact,
this
 bilateral
trade
 surplus for
Australia
 reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its maximum in 2005 when the amount of
import
 plummeted to
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 lowest point (20.)
Finally
, the
trade
 with the United
States
 was mostly stable with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consistent
Change the word
consistently
show examples
 higher
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
, with
Japan
 it went through an unstable
export
 dominance, but in the end,
Australia
 failed to restrain the steep rise of
import
 from
China
.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words imports, china, japan, states, australia, trade, export, import with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 3 times.
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