The charts below show the number of reasons why some people leave UK and why some people choose to stay. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

#show #people #uk #information #features #comparisons

The pie charts display the five aim why individuals would prefer to stay or leave Great Britain.

Overall

, quality of life is the biggest reason why

people

would choose to stay or leave in the United Kingdom. The

weather

and financial resources had a great difference in both charts,

while

the others are relatively similar. The biggest reason why

people

wanted to leave the UK is because of the quality of life, with just above one-third of the

overall

share. The next biggest cause is the

weather

, with 22%,

moreover

, financial resources had just 2% less than the

weather

. Employment and joining family and friends had the lowest proportions, with 15% and 9% respectively.

On the other hand

, 40% of

people

wanted to stay in the United Kingdom because of the quality of life. Almost one-third of individuals would stay in the country because of financial resources.

Furthermore

, employment only occupied 13% of the proportion, and the reasons for joining family and friends, and

weather

are the biggest losers with only 10% and 7% of

people

respectively taking them as the reason of why they would stay.

Submitted by elenazheng1211 on Fri Oct 13 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words people, weather with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 5 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

187 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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