Many people today are choosing to live and work in another country after graduating from univei rsity in their home country. Why is this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #work #country #univei #rsity #home

nowadays, most

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apply

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the

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apply

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communities have been selecting to reside

down

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apply

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abroad after their higher degree.

As because

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Because

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Correct pronoun usage

of this

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, in their home

country

they

donnot

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do not

don't

have enough

oppertunites

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opportunities

what they are expecting

for

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apply

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. In my opinion,

dwell

Wrong verb form

dwelling in

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foreign

country

is a good option to choose. in the following

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essay

easy

eassy

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eassy,

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discuss

about

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apply

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my point of view. first of all,

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apply

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overseas there are lots of

oppurtunities

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opportunities

good

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a good

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life style

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lifestyle

show examples

, and a secure

job

are

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apply

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available.

Further more

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Furthermore

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a fresh graduates

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fresh graduates

a fresh graduate

show examples

can do

what ever

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whatever

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he/she wants,

moreover

, they

dont

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don't

need any kind of experience to find a

job

. not only

job

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jobs

show examples

but

also

they can open a new business

their

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there

show examples

right away.

For example

, In

Italy

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Italy,

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apply

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fresh

under

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apply

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graduates can

many

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have many

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options for

job

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a job

the job

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in many fields

whereas

, in Bangladesh a

post graduate

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postgraduate

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hardly find a

job

either, he/she

manage

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manages

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job

there

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their

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minimum wage a ten times less

then

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than

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a developed countries

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developed countries

a developed country

show examples

On the other hand

, after completing a degree if most of the rabble goes

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apply

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abroad it is a great loss for a home

country

. In future,

young

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the young

show examples

genaration

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generation

have to lead the

nation

but if the fresh graduate goes to

different

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a different

show examples

nation

their

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there

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might be a lack of development in various department

likeas

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infustructure

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infrastructure

, engineering and many other.

For instance

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apply

show examples

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apply

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statistics shows that 65%

fresh

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of fresh

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graduate from reputed universities

from

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show examples

Bangladesh

are going

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to different countries after

there

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their

show examples

gratuation

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graduation

. for that

reason

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reason,

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the

country

remain

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remains

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under developed

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underdeveloped

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overall

, everyone wants a good life for that they need a good environment and many other

thinks

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things

show examples

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apply

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oppurtunites

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opportunities

education

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an education

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system and so on. In a developed

country

the education system and

job

facilities

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are

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five times

batter

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better than

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then

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in a

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under developed

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underdeveloped

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county usually people are willing to move

another

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to another

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nation

f or their future home.

to sum up

Become

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Becoming

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a part of a

nation

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nation's

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development is a pride but in

foreign

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a foreign

show examples

country

there

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

are lots of

opputunities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

to become succeed so,

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation

choose

Correct subject-verb agreement

chooses

show examples

to go abroad to lead a good

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

Submitted by tanjimrafel6 on Tue Nov 14 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and does not provide a clear preview of the main points to be discussed. The conclusion is not well-summarized and does not reinforce the main ideas presented in the essay. Focus on structuring a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the essay and provide a logical flow of ideas.

Task Achievement

The essay presents some relevant points but lacks depth and development. The examples provided are not well-elaborated, and the supporting details for the main points are insufficient. To improve coherence and cohesion, develop each main idea with supporting details and elaborate on the examples to provide a more thorough discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
69Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

342 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people today are choosing to live and work in another country after graduating from univei rsity in their home country. Why is this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Laminsome feels that individuals should try assimilate compeletly to the country where they live while others feel it is more important to preserve their native culture. Discuss both sides and give you opinion.

In many countries students take a year off after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

Many people prefer to watch foreigh films rather than locally produced films, why could this be , should governments give more financial supports to local film industries.

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Because many problems we face today affect our whole planet, good relationships between countries are becoming more important than ever before. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?