IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

write a letter to community health nurse

#community #health #nurse
I am writing to refer
Ms
Vineyard
 who is requiring your continued care and ongoing support throughout her pregnancy. Now she is set to be discharged into your care.
Ms
Vineyard
 was presented to our care on 6\1\09 with
the
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apply
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complaints of pain lower back,weight loss,hallucination and has history of depression.she has
diagnosed
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been diagnosed
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 with substance abuse. During hospitalization, she was
conseled
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consulted
 regarding her
pregnacy
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pregnancy
, nutrition and risk of HIV\AIDS and STD. Occasionally, she shares
injection
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injections
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heroin
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of heroin
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 so she
undergone
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undergo
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 blood
test
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tests
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 for HIV and
STD
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STDs
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.
Ms
vineyard
 lives with her friend and has no contact with
parents
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her parents
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. She has had a habit of smoking, alcohol, and drug use at the age of 16. She has had a history of suicidal
thought
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thoughts
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 and
self harm
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self-harm
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.
However
, she
was never met
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has never met
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 a psychiatrist. I would highly appreciate it if you could take of
Ms
vineyard
 on
the
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a
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 daily basis for
next
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the next
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 2 weeks.Kindly help her to make
a
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an
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 appointment
to
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with
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 a psychiatrist and maternal health clinic as needed. Encourage her to participate in
methodone
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methadone
 program alcoholics anonymous meeting.
In addition
, she has
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her first
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first trimester
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first-trimester
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 ultrasound at 2 weeks. if you have any queries, don't hesitate to contact me. yours sincerely nurse
Submitted by insighttribez on

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greeting and closing
The letter should include a clear introduction stating the purpose of the letter and a polite closing statement to maintain an appropriate and professional tone.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph should revolve around a single theme or idea for better organization and flow, and transitions between paragraphs should be smooth to ensure coherence.
complete response
The task response could be enhanced by adding more details about the patient, such as specific dates for appointments and clear instructions or requests for the community health nurse to follow up on, ensuring a complete and clear response to the task.
logical structure
Use a range of cohesive devices to aid the reader in understanding the sequence of ideas and to enhance the overall cohesion of the letter.
suitable writing tone
Consider using a more varied and formal vocabulary to ensure the writing tone is consistently suitable for the context of writing to a healthcare professional.
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