It is an arguable topic that children should start learning the language of other country while they are in the primary school instead of secondary school. In my opinion learning a different language at folk school has more benefits than drawbacks
The first and foremost positive of
this
is that a child’s brain is more active at this
age. They have a better grasping power and learning ability as compared to high school children. Therefore
it is easy for them to understand and learn a language
that is
different from their mother tongue. Apart from that, if they learn foreign
Add an article
a foreign
language
properly than
Correct your spelling
then
this
will act as an extra skill in them that will help them to communicate with people outside of their country. For instance
, if they know English well and opt for studying abroad in future than
they will be able to exchange their ideas easily with the people of that country. Replace the word
then
In addition
to that, with the ability to speak and write another language
young one’s
will be able to secure better jobs in Change noun form
people
the
multinational companies Correct article usage
apply
for example
, get recruited in
large import and export corporations to deal with foreign clients.
Change preposition
by
Although
, on the negative side , if children Correct word choice
However
will
start learning a new Verb problem
apply
language
in the preparatory school than
they will be overwhelmed with Replace the word
then
extra
Add an article
the extra
burden
. Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
Furthermore
, because of this
they will not able
to focus on all the other subjects properly and Add a missing verb
be able
this
will effect
their Correct your spelling
affect
overall
concentration thus
resulting in poor performance. For example
, diversion
of focus could lead them to bad grades.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
a diversion
although
learning an unfamiliar language
in graded school can sometimes act as a burden on a child but
considering the Remove the conjunction
apply
overall
positives it has on them in future, benefits
of Correct article usage
the benefits
this
outshine the negativesSubmitted by harleenarora620 on
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Task Achievement
To enhance task response, delve deeper into the topic by discussing more in-depth examples and consequences, ensuring all parts of the prompt are fully addressed.
Task Achievement
Expand on the drawbacks section with more detailed examples and counterarguments to provide a more balanced argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider varying your sentence structures and linking words to create a more fluent and dynamic essay.
Language
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic to enrich your essay and better convey nuances.
Task Achievement
Effective use of examples to support your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Clear structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, arguments, counterarguments, and conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good use of topic sentences to introduce each paragraph, aiding reader understanding.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion