Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

These days, a large number of people prefer to do self-care
instead
of referring to a
doctor
,
due to
the high expense of therapy and visiting practitioners. In fact , individuals are trying to substitute medicines and treatments
instead
of going to a hospital or
doctor
. It seems to me that, it is a positive development, in
this
essay I will support my opinion and give examples. It has several pros and one of them is that it
causes to save
Verb problem
saves
show examples
money and
don’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn’t
show examples
pay for doctors and medical procedures.
In other words
, if you want to go visit a
doctor
, you should pay for transportation and prescribing ,
otherwise
, you can save your money for other things.
Secondly
, alternative medicine, as an example, self-care makes your body stronger and immune in front of illness, which means it doesn’t let your body get used to drugs. A good example of it would be, If you have a cold, you might refer to a
doctor
and he prescribes some drugs
such
as penicillin , long-lasting it makes your body poor, but if you use vitamins like C and drink liquids you will be honed.
On the other hand
, whenever you get sick and want to treat yourself, it can be time-consuming and even you may get worse, because you don’t know what happened to you, if you don’t visit the
doctor
it can cause irreparable damage. In
this
case, you have to go to the
doctor
and he will diagnose what happened to you. All in all, as can be seen from the points in
this
essay, you need to go to the
doctor
for a bad illness like high blood pressure. In my opinion, alternative medicines and treatments are better than visiting a
doctor
,
nonetheless
for a crucial illness you must go to the
doctor
.
Submitted by hoseinyasemi.ir on

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Linking
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Examples
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Position
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Response to Prompt
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, providing a clear opinion and supporting it with examples and explanations.
Introduction & Conclusion
You have a good use of introductory and concluding paragraphs, framing your argument well and providing a satisfying closure to the discussion.
Use of Examples
The use of examples, especially when discussing the benefits of alternative medicine, helps to support your main points effectively.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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