Some people say that the amount of noise that people make should be strictly controlled. Others say that people should be free to make as much noise as they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some
people
claim that the noise
made by people
should be regulated, while
others think that people
are free to make noise
as loud as they want. Whilst more and more people
live in noisy areas, I believe that people
should respect the tranquility
of their neighbours and control the disturbance they make.
Nowadays, Change the spelling
tranquillity
people
live in more and more urban areas, which make different sources of noise
. Some people
need noise
because it makes them feel safe and less isolated in those concrete jungles. For example
, citizens do not mind living near a train station and do not even hear any more the loudness of traffic jams on avenues.
On the other hand
, making noise
may be a synonym of
disturbance and disrespect, which can be an issue in modern cohabitation. Change preposition
for
For instance
, more and more people
work from home and need to work quietly. In addition
, too much noise
can damage our hearing sense, which is essential to communicate with others. As an aside, studies have shown that nowadays, more and more people
are deaf due to
long and harmful exposition to noise
, such
as in nightclubs. Moreover
, noise
can disturb and sometimes even kill the Fauna. For example
, cruise boat engines are so loud when in operation that they kill some species of fish or disturb whales and make them disoriented.
Nevertheless
, some music genres need to be listened to loud in concert halls. But even in these places, loudness is controlled by a sound limiter in order to protect our ears.
In conclusion, although
everybody makes noise
, especially in urban areas, I believe that the noise
we make has to be regulated in order to respect others and our direct environment .Submitted by leared on
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Coherence/Cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider varying your sentence structures a bit more to improve the flow and readability of your essay.
Task Achievement
Try to integrate more direct comparison or contrast between viewpoints within your paragraphs to strengthen the discussion aspect of the essay.
Task Achievement
Be cautious with generalisations (e.g., "Nowadays, more and more people..."). While they can be effective, make sure they are supported with specific evidence or examples.
Task Achievement
You have a clear thesis statement that addresses the prompt effectively.
Task Achievement
You provided a balanced view on the topic before stating your own opinion, which is good for task response.
Task Achievement
You used relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Coherence/Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Coherence/Cohesion
You effectively used linking words to connect ideas between and within paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.