Many people choose to have a holiday in their own country rather than going overseas. What are the advantages and disadvantages of holidaying in your own country?

A group of individuals does not prefer to go on a holiday to other destinations

instead

of being in their own country. From my perspective,

this

approach is totally wrong.

This

essay will discuss whether going on a holiday in various parts of the world is beneficial or staying in your homeland. First of all, in the contemporary world, a lot of

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

are big fans of travelling to distinct parts of the world. All of them find it excessively important and favourable.

For instance

, based on statistics, 45% of individuals are keen on doing it, and they can hardly live without travelling.

However

, others claim that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

travelling is a thing

that is

auspicious as long as it is in place. More precisely, only during holidays or for celebrating. The primary advantage of travelling on holidays is discovering new cultures or recognizing new

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

. New cultures and

crowd

Fix the agreement mistake

crowds

show examples

can affect your lifestyle in fantastic ways. More accurately, it can change your opinions about life or your feelings.

Secondly

, even though there are several benefits of travelling, we can see some drawbacks.

For example

, many teenagers are likely to go abroad and face modern life or community. So, going to other places

instead

of staying in your homeland can have a detrimental effect.

For instance

, some youths can be in danger or can use drugs abroad.

This

type of thing is very hazardous for every individual's life not only for teenagers. In conclusion, I reckon that, despite all the drawbacks, travelling to various places on earth is superior for adults.

Nevertheless

, it can be dangerous for kids or teenagers, but with their parents, it is

also

okay.

Submitted by elnur.adil on Sat Apr 27 2024

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Introduction

Clarify your stance in the introduction for a stronger start.

Content

Ensure a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, matching the essay prompt's requirements.

Support

Use specific examples to support your points more effectively, increasing the relevance and impact of your arguments.

Relevance

For enhanced clarity, maintain focus on the advantages and disadvantages of holidaying in one's own country rather than comparing it with traveling abroad extensively.

Structure

Improve coherence by better structuring your paragraphs, ensuring each one focuses on a single main idea with clear support.

Cohesion

Work on a clearer thematic division between paragraphs for enhanced readability.

Engagement

You engaged with the topic and attempted to discuss both sides of the argument.

Conclusion

The conclusion summarizes your viewpoint, providing a closure to your discussion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

staycation
domestic tourism
cost-effective
carbon footprint
sustainable tourism
national identity
culinary delights
heritage sites
unexplored gems
international understanding
cultural enrichment
local artisans

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Small town center shops are running out of business because rural residents tend to go shopping in big cities store. To what extent do the disadvantages of this development outweigh the advantages?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All university students should be required to take history courses no matter what their field of study is. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?