In many countries, financial crime involving indentity theft is increasing. What are the causes of this trend, and what effect does identity thefts have on the victims involved ?

#countries #crime #indentity #theft #trend #effect #identity #thefts #victims

In some nations, economic offences involving recognising

theft

are increasing.

This

essay will discuss the problems of

this

trend

along with

some solutions in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with the cause of

this

phenomenon. The predominant one is less

police

force in small

areas

. To elaborate , there are a number of rural

areas

in many countries where there is extremely little

police

service.

Therefore

theft

could very smoothly steal money and hurt the pupils.

For instance

, the bank of Whitehorse City which located in Yukon Canada had a robbery

due to

fewer

police

officers were doing a job there. To mitigate

this

, the government should assign

police

officers in the countryside

areas

so they can fight with thefts. Shifting towards another problem people keep shops open for late night in popular locations. To answer

this

, usually in rush

areas

pupils open their shops and restaurants

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

late

night

Change preposition

at night

show examples

due to

this

theft

stealing money from them and injuring them.

For example

last

month in downtown Kajheri there was an incident in the K.K shop where a thief injured the manager and robbed money. To tackle

this

, individuals should close these shopes timely. In conclusion,

although

because of less

police

force and leaving shops open at midnight can increase financial crime through

theft

, yet it can be solved by authorities.

Submitted by jeetsarb1481965 on Sat Apr 27 2024

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Task Achievement

In the introduction, directly address the essay's topic and questions. A clearer connection between identity theft and the discussed causes/effects would strengthen your argument.

Task Achievement

Elaborate further on the specific causes and effects of identity theft. The essay currently focuses on general theft and security, not directly tackling the nuances of identity theft.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use clear topic sentences to signal the main idea of each paragraph. This aids in creating a logical flow of information and argumentation.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses closely on the essay's topic. The examples provided should directly relate to identity theft, not general theft or security issues.

Examples

You provided examples to support your points, which is good practice for illustrating your arguments.

Structure

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, which aids in overall readability and coherence.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

221 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, financial crime involving indentity theft is increasing. What are the causes of this trend, and what effect does identity thefts have on the victims involved ?

Word Count

Topic: Some people think it is more important spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on a treatment for people who are already ill.

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes?** What measures should be taken to combat this issue?**

In the last century when a human astronaut arrived on the moon he said "it is a big step for mankind". But some people say it makes little or no difference to our daily life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believes that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes, others argue that this money should be spent on sports facilities for ordinary people. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?