Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Regarding the o the
rising
of technology Replace the word
rise
during
Change preposition
in
last
years. Many Correct article usage
the last
of
Change preposition
apply
children
rens have dialy spended
hours on using Correct your spelling
daily spent
smartphones
. This
essay will discusses
the case of Change the verb form
discuss
this
phenomenon, then
will Correct word choice
and then
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
either
it is a positive habit or not.
Correct word choice
whether
For of foremost
, there are two crucial reasons which lead Childs to use Change preposition
Foremost
smartphones
for a long time. The sgnificant
reason is Correct your spelling
significant
parnts
do not monitor their Correct your spelling
parents
Children
. To illustrates
more, in Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
this
rapid and noisy world parnts
have been busy with their responsibilities and Correct your spelling
parents
carrers
, Correct your spelling
careers
carriers
thus
, their
forget Correct pronoun usage
they
monitoring
their Change the verb form
to monitor
childrens
behavior. Change to a genitive case
children's
Second
important Correct article usage
The second
reasons
is everything in our life related Fix the agreement mistake
reason
with
using Change preposition
to
iPhone
including education. Correct article usage
the iPhone
Therefore
, parnts
are obligated to provide their Correct your spelling
parents
childrens
with Correct your spelling
children
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a smartphone
smartphones
smartphones
one eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
their
do not have enough time to control Correct pronoun usage
they
they
use of Correct pronoun usage
their
smartphones
. In a covid epndmic, for example
. Each students have to own his phone to Complete their education tasks.
Although
,
using Remove the comma
apply
smartphones
phone by children
having
Wrong verb form
has
same
Correct article usage
the same
of
Change preposition
apply
draw backs
, there are Correct your spelling
drawbacks
also
many merits such
as, there are educational apps, which teach children
by
using Change preposition
apply
a
Creative and Correct article usage
apply
attractiv
ways. Correct your spelling
attractive
For example
, Doulingo
apps. Correct your spelling
Duolingo
Furthermore
, it facilitates the teaching and learning process, by simplified
the communication between teachers and students, as well Change the form of the verb
simplifying
between
tutors and Correct word choice
as between
parnts
. Correct your spelling
parents
For instance
, using whatsApp
to communicate quickly with students and their Change the capitalization
WhatsApp
Whatsapp
parnts
.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
parents
while
today's Correct word choice
apply
the
rate of using Correct article usage
apply
smartphones
among children
has been increasing for many reasons. Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
this
issue has positives and negatives, the positives overcome the negatives.Submitted by fatema14mohammed on
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Task response
Ensure to directly address the question in your introduction to provide a clear overview of your essay's direction.
Coherence and cohesion
Develop each paragraph with one main idea, supported by examples or evidence, to enhance clarity and coherence.
Language
Monitor your spelling and grammatical accuracy to improve your essay's professionalism and readability.
Content
You successfully identified key reasons behind children's extensive use of smartphones, which shows good understanding.
Content
You have nicely balanced the essay by discussing both positive and negative aspects of the phenomenon.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?