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Band 6

Nowadays, some people believe advertising is useful and informative. Others believe advertising gives false information about the products and increase the price of goods.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #products #price #goods
Advertising is dominating societies around the world. Whilst some believe that
advertisements
 are helpful and impart knowledge about different
products
, I believe that these
advertisements
 sometimes can be misleading and
also
 increase the cost of
items
.
People
 who think that
advertisements
 provide
information
 about various
products
 and services claim that it is easy and convenient to know about the features of these
items
.
Also
, we can see different companies advertising their
items
 on different platforms like on televisions, on various social media sites and even by sending text messages on mobile phones, so it is quite easy to compare the prices of various
products
.
Moreover
, with the help of these
advertisements
,
people
 can decide what to buy and what not, so they prove to be useful and informative.
However
, in my opinion, most adverts provide wrong
information
 to the customers. In the
advertisements
, sometimes the specifications and
information
 about the product are misleading,
also
 the benefits explained about these
items
 are not true, and unable to meet the buyer's expectations.
For example
, there are many adverts regarding skin whitening creams in the market, and their prices are very high as well, but when
people
 start to use them, they do not fulfil their promise as they do not work
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 the mark,
also
 many adverts do not reveal harmful impacts they have on consumer's health.
In addition
, some online
advertisements
 are fraudulent as well,
people
 order
products
 from various websites and after paying the money, the goods are not delivered to their homes. In conclusion,
although
advertisements
 provide beneficial
information
 about various
items
 that help consumers to identify features, I believe that some of them misguide the customers with fake and false promises,
also
 with unnecessary high prices, and some of them can be fraud as well.
Submitted by harleenarora620 on

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Task Achievement
Strive for a balanced discussion on both views before concluding with your own opinion. Including specific examples from both perspectives enhances the argument's depth.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to improve flow between ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Ensure your examples are clear and directly support the point being made. Real-world examples or statistics could enhance argumentation.
General
Carefully proofread your essay to catch any grammatical errors or typos that might distract from your argument.
Structure
Introduction effectively sets up the essay's discussion points.
Task Achievement
You presented a clear personal stance, contributing to a strong conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs for each view and your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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