In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What types of changes are occuring? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?

In an ever-progressive society, there are some changes in family status and domestic role division
due to
the alternation in social ideology.
This
tendency encourages
women
to become more independent, outweighing the drawbacks of harmony. First and foremost, the emphasis on gender equality provides rise to
parrental
Correct your spelling
parallel
working patterns. With the rise of feminism,
women
were encouraged to learn, work and achieve their own upshot in their fields.
Instead
, the stereotype that men earn money and
women
give birth,
manage
Correct word choice
and manage
show examples
the housework has been reversed, and
women
’s responsibilities are no longer limited to housework but can contribute to many senior positions
such
as manager, government officials and even the president.
Therefore
, men can do housework and take care of their children, or they can hire a housekeeper to focus on their own business. On top of that, the suppression of patriarchy encourages the dignity of
women
. In the past, men were considered the head of the family with full control over their
wife
Fix the agreement mistake
wives
show examples
and children. With feminist ideology, the
initially
inferior status of
women
is valued, and their opinions are responded to in the family, they can join in the family’s decision.
According to
psychological research, mutual acceptance and understanding are top priorities in teenagers’ cognition and development, especially female
adolescence
Replace the word
adolescents
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.
Therefore
, more equal family status gives
women
more
advantageous
Replace the word
advantages
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in
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
, critical thinking, and social abilities.
To conclude
, gender role diversity and the emphasis on the female stand stimulate society’s development.
Hence
, that has helped
women
and children have the courage to develop themselves.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear view expressing both the changes in family roles and your perspective towards these changes. Aim to provide more varied examples and perhaps statistics or studies to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain clarity with paragraphing, seamlessly connecting your ideas. You showed a considerable grasp of this with a well-structured response, but ensuring each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next with clear topic sentences could enhance coherence.
Language
Integrate a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas, especially concerning gender roles and societal changes, to demonstrate a greater command of the language.
Introduction/Conclusion
Addresses the topic thoroughly with a clear introduction and conclusion, discussing changes in family structures and roles.
Examples
Good utilization of examples to illustrate points on gender roles and equality.
Analysis
Your analysis of the impact of these changes on society and individuals is insightful, showing depth in your reasoning.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Family structure
  • Modern family
  • Extended family
  • Nuclear family
  • Same-sex parent families
  • Breadwinner
  • Caregiving responsibilities
  • Family dynamics
  • Globalization
  • Economic shifts
  • Migration
  • Child-free lifestyles
  • Cohabitation
  • Traditional marriage
  • Perceptions
  • Homemaker
  • Communication
  • Shared activities
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