Some people believe that to be successful at a sport, you need natural ability, and others think that hard work and practice can make you successful. Discuss both views, and give your opinion?

Contrary to what many believe, becoming triumphant at a
sport
requires instinctive capabilities, I hold the conviction that hard work and practice can result in achieving what you want
as well as
being prosperous. On the one hand, there are numerous people who believe that if you aim to be an expert and
then
thrive in the field of
sport
in which you are interested, you must own an inherited talent, some physical priorities, and a few natural abilities.
Therefore
,
according to
this
belief, a person who is not tall or fit enough is not eligible to be a volleyball player.
For instance
, the Chinese national football team has never been considered a cheerful one as its players were genetically medium-height men. Yet, we are witness to their numerous achievements in international competitions, which are a testament to hard work and teamwork.
However
, there is a widely held myth that even physically the least qualified people to pursue a special
sport
must give themselves a chance to adopt that
sport
.
Moreover
,
according to
this
belief, the role of repetition and diligence cannot be ignored as they are the main keys to fulfilling even the most challenging targets, indeed. Take Olympic gold medal-winning swimmer Michael Phelps as an example. His muscles might have ached during his races; his lungs might have felt like they would explode. Interestingly,
nonetheless
, his resilience and his unwavering dedication paid off with a massive success regardless of what level of talent he may have had. In conclusion, after considering both viewpoints, I am inclined to affirm that talent is a remarkable criterion
while
it cannot merely be a determining index for taking a step toward a path in
sport
. There are several prominent athletes who might not be talented enough, but they are diligent in their field.
Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on

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Coherence & Cohesion
While your reasoning is logically structured and you present a clear introduction and conclusion, strive to enhance the flow and connectivity between your ideas even further. Transitional phrases could be used more effectively to guide the reader through the essay seamlessly.
Task Achievement
Your use of examples, such as Michael Phelps, to support your arguments is commendable. It strengthens your task response and showcases a thorough understanding of the topic. Continue to seek out relevant examples that reinforce your points.
Task Achievement
Ensure your essay maintains a balanced discussion of both views before stating your personal opinion. This will enhance the completeness of the response and demonstrate your ability to engage with multiple perspectives.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are notably strong, effectively setting up the topic and summarizing your arguments.
Task Achievement & Content Quality
You've done an excellent job of supporting your main points with specific, relevant examples, which enriches your essay and makes your arguments more convincing.
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