A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday this summer. He/She has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter explain why you think your friend would enjoy camping describe some possible disadvantages say whether you would like to go camping with your friend

Dear Julia, I hope

this

letter finds you in great health and you are doing well there, how are you, girl ? long time no saw you, since we are finished our France course. I really miss you and my mother always

ask

Correct subject-verb agreement

asks

show examples

about you. I am writing

this

letter to give you advice about

you

Correct pronoun usage

your

show examples

plan to take

camping

Add an article

a camping

show examples

holiday

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

summer. Based on my perspective,

This

event

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a lot of benefits for you.

Moreover

, you are is busy person in my point of view going on a camping holiday can refresh your brain and you can feel different

circumstance

Fix the agreement mistake

circumstances

show examples

In addition

, there are

also

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

several disadvantages if you do that.

Consequently

this

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

can

spent

Verb problem

waste

show examples

your energy

hence

you can not

concentration

Replace the word

concentrate

show examples

when you work after

join with

Wrong verb form

joining

show examples

this

agenda.

Furthermore

, you

also

could spend

numerous

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

you

Change the pronoun

your

show examples

money

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

will

harms

Change the verb form

harm

show examples

your

financial

Replace the word

finances

show examples

. I would apologize to you that I can not join

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

you

due to

I have a large number of activities

this

month. I have to go to Singapore to meet with my client

for

Change preposition

show examples

make some deals with him. Once again, thank you for your time and I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Xhiexie.

Submitted by patricius.yohanes on Tue May 14 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure your letter has a logical structure. Each paragraph should present a single idea clearly.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity.

task achievement

The letter addresses all parts of the task: reasons to enjoy camping, possible disadvantages, and whether you can join.

task achievement

The tone is friendly and appropriate for a letter to a friend.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

208 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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