The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2-3- and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2-3- and 2040.
The line graph illustrates the information about
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
of the people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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living
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
in the fore different cities
such
as
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
,
Malaysia
, Thailand, and Indonesia between 1970 and 2020, with
guess
Add an article
a guess
show examples
for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
, the most significant
features
Fix the agreement mistake
feature
show examples
was in 1990, the
percentage
of
Malaysia
's
population
was higher than
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
becoming the highest
percentage
of the
population
city.
Furthermore
, other important information was in 2010, Indonseia's
population
was more than
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
. In more detail, in 1970, the
percentage
of
Philippines
; and
Malaysia
's residents was around 30%.
However
,
this
situation
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed between 1990 and 2000,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
Malaysia
's
population
increased dramatically
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
2020 to
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
two decades.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
the
percentage
of
Philippines
decreased between 1990 and 2010 from 50% to 40%.
Moreover
, Indonesia city was least
percentage
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
the beginning of the data but their
population
is rising in each
decades
Change to a singular noun
decade
show examples
, and in 2000 and 2010 was higher than Thailand and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
higher
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
percentage
of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
city
Submitted by jcafe2177 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, philippines, malaysia, population with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
What to do next:
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