The chart below show the percentage of second language classes taken by Australian secondary school students in two different cities in 2017

The chart below show the percentage of second language classes taken by Australian secondary school students in two different cities in 2017
The supplied pie charts demonstrate the proportion of
students
who took second
language
classes in the school of Australia in two various cities (
included
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
Melbourne
and
Sydney
) in 2017. A glance at the graph reveals that Mandarin and Japanese were the most popular languages for learning between
Austrillian
Correct your spelling
Australian
students
in
Melbourne
and
Sydney
over the period.
However
,the
students
did
Verb problem
were
show examples
not
interest
Replace the word
interested
show examples
to study
Change preposition
in studying
show examples
Italian,Indonesian and other languages in both of the cities in 2017. The percentage of
students
who tended to learn Mandarin was nearly 40 per
cent
in
Melbourne
in 2017.Whilst with a slight change,roughly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of Australian
students
were keen
on
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to take Mandarin classes in
Sydney
in the year.(Which was the highest amount of taking courses over the period).
Similarly
taking Japanese
language
courses in
Melbourne
was as prominent as in
Sydney
,respectively a quarter and just under a third in 2017.
In contrast
,in
Melbourne
Add a comma
Melbourne,
show examples
a small minority of
students
took courses for learning
Italian
Change the article
the Italian
show examples
language
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
15 per
cent
in 2017.Interestingly a tiny proportion of Australian
students
were eager to study
Italian
Change the article
the Italian
show examples
language
in
Sydney
over the year.
Moreover
,the average of
students
who chose Indonesian as
second
Add an article
a second
show examples
language
was 10 per
cent
in
Melbourne
and 5 per
cent
in
Sydney
in 2017.
Following
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
the percentage of
students
who
select
Wrong verb form
selected
show examples
other
language
classes in
Melbourne
was less than
Sydney
Change preposition
in Sydney
show examples
in 2017.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, language, melbourne, sydney, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: