You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: • give details of your study plans • explain why you want to get a part-time job • suggest how your friend could help you find a job

#country #study #job #friend #lives #help #plans

Hi Sara, How have you been? I have come to the UK

for studying

Change preposition

to study

show examples

chemistry at White College since

Semptember

Correct your spelling

September

. I need your help to find a part-time job

while

I am studying. My study major includes practical and technical subjects. Our practical courses need special facilities for laboratories which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

provided on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 13-17.

In addition

, our technical course is held on a daily basis except

weekends

Change preposition

at weekends

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. To rectify

this

situation, I need

part-time

Add an article

a part-time

show examples

job to get to know about

culture

Correct article usage

the culture

show examples

and the way of life in

this

country.

Then

, I think it helps me become familiar with new people and improve my communication

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apply

show examples

here. From an economic perspective, I find

this

as an opportunity to gain money in order to solve some financial problems.

Finally

, I’d suggest making a link if you

knew

Wrong verb form

know

show examples

any people who

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

searching

Change preposition

for an

show examples

amateur part-time workforce in their business. Thanks a million in advance. I am looking for receiving your response. Best wishes, Ma

Submitted by kargar.mh1992 on Mon May 20 2024

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logical structure

To improve logical structure, be more explicit in linking your points and consider using transitional phrases. For example, 'Furthermore' and 'In addition' can help guide the reader through your argument.

single idea per paragraph

In one section of the letter, multiple ideas are packed into just one sentence. Breaking this down into separate sentences or paragraphs will make the letter easier to read and understand.

complete response

The letter successfully completes the task requirements by detailing study plans, explaining why a job is needed, and suggesting how the friend can help.

suitable writing tone

The tone of the letter is appropriate and friendly, making it suitable for a personal letter to a friend.

greeting and closing

Your greeting and closing are effective, making the letter feel complete and polished.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

167 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Educational aspirations
Work experience
Financial independence
Resume (or CV)
Local job market
International student
Legal requirements
Student work permit
Employment trends
Time management
Networking
A part-time position
Balance studies and work
Job hunting strategies

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