Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

There is no denying the fact that students attend university to improve their prospects and find suitable employment after graduation.

While

it is a commonly held belief that some learners feel about other

subjects

in addition

to their main

subjects

, there is

also

an argument that others think studying for a qualification.

This

essay will analyse

this

topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, learning about other

subjects

can broaden students knowledge and perspectives.

In other words

, studying for a qualification enables students to specialize in a particular field.

In addition

, learning provides a structured path and clear goals.

For example

, Studies have shown that learning skills outside the field of specialization contribute to the labour market.

On the other hand

, devoting all attention to the core

subjects

can lead to deeper expertise and a stronger command of the field It is

also

possible to say that

this

is crucial for professions requiring specialized knowledge.

Moreover

, incorporating other

subjects

can make studies more enjoyable and reduce burnout.

For instance

, it provides a mental break and stimulates curiosity.In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

question. On balance,

however

, I tend to believe that they must focus on the main item at the university

while

Focusing on developing the skills required for the labour market

Submitted by 01_salver_cheek on Thu May 16 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses both views and provides an opinion, which is good. However, it would be beneficial to elaborate more on each point to provide a clearer and more comprehensive response. For example, the sections discussing the benefits of specializing in a particular field and the potential for broader knowledge both could use more in-depth examples or reasoning.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is mostly clear, but there are areas where the flow could be improved. Transitions between points can be smoother, and more cohesive devices can be used to increase readability. For instance, the link between the paragraphs discussing student benefits and the final conclusion can be strengthened.

coherence cohesion

While you have an introduction and conclusion, they could be more robust. Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize the key arguments presented in the essay. This will help give your essay a more defined structure.

task achievement

Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and covers both viewpoints, which is essential for task achievement.

task achievement

You have made a good attempt to provide relevant examples, such as studies showing the benefits of developing skills outside one's field of specialization.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

220 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

many high level of positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than fifty percent female. compnies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

You live in a block of flats; your neighbour makes a lot of noise which has caused problems for you. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter, you should: explain the situation tell him/her how you are effected by this Suggest what you want the landlord to do

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet. What problems may this trend lead to? What solutions would you recomend?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shipping. Is this a positive or a negative development?