IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

People should become vegetarian because they do not need eat meat to have a healthy diet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #meat #diet
It is argued that people should choose a vegetarian in lieu of eating meat.
Although
 I believe that consuming plant food bears a healthy diet, I argue that everyone should stop eating meat to have a good health. On the one hand, there are two compelling reasons why becoming a vegetarian is beneficial.
Firstly
, science has proven that vegetarians have a lower risk of developing several illnesses
such
 as heart disease, cancer, obesity.
This
 is due to the fact that a healthy vegetarian diet is typically lower fat and high fibre, which keeps bodies in shape.
Secondly
, eating vegetables properly gives us adequate nutrition and minerals to support our bodies. Raw spinach,
for example
, is a great source of Vitamins A, K, C as well as calcium.
Therefore
,
instead
 of eating many types of food to get these Vitamins, people only need a bowl of spinach.
On the other hand
, there are some disadvantages to take into consideration before becoming a vegetarian. The
first
 drawback is that vegetarian daily meals are not properly balanced, they might suffer from a lack of calories to meet their needs.
Consequently
, they can feel tired or unable to do any things.
Furthermore
, becoming a vegetarian at an early age can have detrimental effects on children’s health. In fact the ingredient of vegetarian meals has a less cholesterol, which plays an important in children’s puberty stage.
Therefore
Accept comma addition
Therefore, this
this
 process can later in children eating foods without meat. According to studies published in the Medical Journal, the proportion of children consuming only vegetables can suffer from puberty disorder higher than children who balanced all foods. In conclusion,
although
 a vegetarian diet bears some benefits, I believe that not everyone should eat as a vegetarian, especially children.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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