IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Smart phones and other similar electronic gadgets have reduced the contact between friends. Discuss how far you agree with this statement.

#phones #gadgets #contact #friends
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There is an argument that
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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phones
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such
Linking Words
 as
iPhone's
Change noun form
iPhones
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 and Galaxy's have decreased
the
Correct article usage
apply
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communication between
friends
Use synonyms
. I totally disagree with
this
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 statement, because mobile
phones
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 and similar electronic devices are offering social media platforms and
phone
Use synonyms
 call opportunities which provides a great environment to contact with other
people
Use synonyms
. There are different variations of social media platforms that enable
to
Correct pronoun usage
one to
show examples
 interact with strangers
and
Correct word choice
apply
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close
friends
Use synonyms
 or even celebrities. These applications provide a digital infrastructure to simulate
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
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 interactions, and
therefore
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,
people
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 can speak and send a message to others in a few seconds. With the help of
this
Linking Words
 quick interaction,
people
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 can speak more often with their
friends
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. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, Instagram users are sending a lot of videos and photographs to their
friends
Use synonyms
 and they can discuss different digital materials with their contacts on
this
Linking Words
 application. The other gift of smart
phones
Use synonyms
 are offering is instant
phone
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 calls which eases to talk or ask something without a face-to-face interaction. Many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer these kinds of interactions because
people
Use synonyms
 do not have to prepare to go to outside to talk with someone, and they can easily ask their urgent situations.
For example
Linking Words
, in the UK a person
interact
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interacts
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more
Change preposition
with more
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 than a hundred
people
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 through these
phone
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 calls which is extremely hard to interact
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 number of
people
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 in rural places, and most
people
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 admit that they can easily speak with their
friends
Use synonyms
 with the help of
phone
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 calls without meeting in a cafe. In conclusion,
phone
Use synonyms
 calls and social media platforms are different features of smart
phones
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 and similar devices, and I believe, these opportunities improve the communication between
friends
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure that the essay follows a clear and logical structure. Organize your ideas into paragraphs, each with a clear main idea and supporting information. Use transition words to help the ideas flow smoothly from one to another.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure the introduction and conclusion are clearly presented and aligned with each other. The introduction should paraphrase the question and outline the main points you will cover, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position.
Task Achievement
Include more detailed and specific examples to support your point of view. Rather than providing general statements, demonstrate the impacts of smartphones and similar devices on communication with evidence or specific anecdotes.
Task Achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. While you have stated your disagreement with the statement, also consider the opposing viewpoint and provide a counterargument to offer a more balanced discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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