IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that it is more important to plant more trees in open areas in towns and cities than provide more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #plant #trees #areas #towns #cities
Many city planners believe that
trees
 are essential for modern city development prioritizing them over residential buildings. I agree with
this
 view despite recognizing the benefits of increased housing in
cities
. The
quality
 of life in urban settings is
substaintially
Correct your spelling
substantially
 enhanced by initiatives in urban greening, If more
trees
 can be planted in open
areas
 in towns and
cities
, urban greening
areas
 will expand
accordingly
, contributing to the
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 of the
quality
 of life of residents. Increasing
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
trees
 allows the urban to expand green
areas
, which can provide larger and higher
quality
 public space.
For instance
, it can mean wider town squares, bigger parks and so on, offering splendid places to residents to relax
themselves
Remove the pronoun
apply
show examples
from
heavy
Add an article
the heavy
show examples
 workload and connect with their
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
. Ultimately,
residents
Change noun form
residents'
resident's
show examples
 well-being and
quality
 of life will be enhanced. Another benefit of planting more
trees
 in these places can improve air
qulity
Correct your spelling
quality
 and protect soil, giving rise to better regional ecology. With the
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
show examples
 rate of private car ownership, air
quality
 in
cities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is getting worse, and
accordingly
, the air pollution problem is becoming more and more serious. Planting
trees
 can be a potent
may
Correct your spelling
way
show examples
 to solve it.
Trees
 can produce oxygen via photosynthesis
while
 at the same time =ment of
regime
Add an article
the regime
show examples
! environment
On the other hand
, urban greening
areas
 expansion may lead to inadequate housing supply in some metropolitan
cities
, which can cause
homeless
Replace the word
homelessness
show examples
 and social unrest.
Due to
 the limited urban land area, if there are more
trees
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
planted there will be less area left for housing, triggering
housing
Correct article usage
a housing
show examples
 shortage and skyrocketed housing prices. Eventually, there will be a large group of people who have no place to live and become homeless, which can be a catalyst for social unrest. In conclusion, I agree that planting more
trees
 in open
areas
 in towns and
cities
 is basically a positive act, though there are possibilities for it to cause housing
shortage
Fix the agreement mistake
shortages
show examples
 and social unrest in some
areas
.
Submitted by 1913435 on

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task achievement
Make sure that the introduction clearly states your position regarding the statement. Although you mentioned your agreement, a more explicit thesis statement would strengthen the introduction.
task achievement
Ensure that the main body paragraphs each focus on a single point and that this point is clearly stated in the topic sentence at the beginning of the paragraph. Additionally, directly relate each paragraph back to the question prompt to maintain relevance.
task achievement
Develop your arguments more fully by providing specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will enhance your task achievement score by demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence \u0026 cohesion
Organize your ideas logically, making sure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with clear connections. Use a range of cohesive devices (linking words, pronouns, etc.) effectively to aid in the coherence of your essay.
coherence \u0026 cohesion
Strive for a clear and logical conclusion that summarizes the main points of your essay and restates your position without introducing new ideas.
coherence \u0026 cohesion
Thoroughly proofread your essay to identify and correct grammatical and typographical errors, such as the phrase 'substaintially' which should be spelled 'substantially.' Correct use of language is essential for a high score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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