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Once children start school,teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #school #teachers #influence #development
When
children
 start school they spend much time in the classroom around
teachers
 and fellow
students
 where they learn new knowledge and
also
 learn how to interact with other
students
. I agree that
teachers
 have more influence on their intellectual and social development because of the amount of time the teacher spends with the
students
. I will highlight a few examples in my essay. In school, they participate in social activities and perform several tasks in groups.
For instance
, the student usually joins a certain jet club where they demonstrate their creative skills and learn the value of collaboration. The
students
also
 participate in cultural dance where they learn and practice different cultures in Nigeria.
This
 exercise is crucial to their social development because it would help them to appreciate the diverse cultures in society and respect different beliefs held by people from different ethnic
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
. Modern schools these days have sophisticated learning tools to help accelerate learning in the classroom.
For example
, the learning field school located in Nigeria distributed smart tablet devices that contain
high fidelity
Add a hyphen
high-fidelity
show examples
 graphics to aid in biology practice. With the help of
teachers
 acting as facilitators,
this
 exercise has led to a significant increase in the success rate of the student academically.
Furthermore
,
teachers
 have
also
 provided counselling to
children
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have faced depression and bullying from their peers better
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 their
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 could have been able to.
For example
,
children
 tend to keep a lot from their
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 and find it easier to communicate with the teacher. In conclusion,
teachers
 have vast experience in managing
students
 and are able to facilitate effective learning and nurture social development in
children
.
Submitted by Cyril on

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Grammar & Sentence Structure
The writing overall is quite good, but it could benefit from more varied sentence structure. Also, be careful with verb tenses and check for minor grammar and spelling errors.
Relevance & Example
Try to connect your points and examples more closely to the question prompt. While your points are relevant, they could be tied more directly to the specific question about the role of teachers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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