Young people say that travelling to different countries benefits them and the society. Do you agree or disagree. Give your opinion.

Travelling among young adults is increasing on and on for many reasons either for tourism, work, or studying. Youth claim that travelling can have personal and societal benefits. In

this

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essay, I am going to shed some light on why I

courage

Verb problem

encourage

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the youth to travel abroad.

Firstly

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, The main reason why I agree that teenagers should try and travel abroad is to enhance their personality and get to know more about foreign cultures.

This

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experience will help them get out of their comfort zone and give them some sense of

responsibility

Use synonyms

. To illustrate, when my brother finished high school he decided to go

Germany

Change preposition

to Germany

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and get his

bachelors

Change noun form

bachelor's

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degree, he said that

this

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stage of his life

tought

Correct your spelling

taught

him to hold

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

responsibility

Use synonyms

and find a part-time job to help him financially.

This

Linking Words

kind of

responsibility

Use synonyms

changed his personality

Change preposition

for

show examples

better

Correct article usage

the better

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

, the second main reason for travelling abroad is to help the society. Some developing countries lack the technology and knowledge that developed countries have.

For example

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, in the 1950s Singapore was a poor country. Their leader

took

Verb problem

made

show examples

a decision to invest in the power of the youth. The president sent over 60 thousand undergraduates to

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

and Europe in order to get the knowledge

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

have.

And

Correct word choice

After

show examples

doing

this

Linking Words

process for over 50 years, Singapore now is one of the most developed countries in the world. In conclusion, I agree that young people should travel abroad to benefit them personally like character development

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

give them

sense

Add an article

a sense

show examples

responsibility

Use synonyms

, and benefit

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Change preposition

show examples

bringing knowledge and technology to the country.

osama2010b

Nov 23, 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. It is important to paraphrase the prompt effectively to show that you fully understand the question.

task achievement

For a higher score, you need to develop your main points more fully. Your ideas should be explained more comprehensively with clear links between them.

coherence cohesion

Your essay exhibits a satisfactory logical structure with an adequate introduction and conclusion. However, work on creating a stronger thesis statement and a more impactful conclusion correlating with your viewpoint.

task achievement

Support your ideas with more in-depth examples or evidence, which would strengthen the main points and contribute to a higher score for task achievement.

coherence cohesion

Make use of a wider range of cohesive devices to ensure better flow of ideas, and avoid repetition by using synonyms effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Young people say that travelling to different countries benefits them and the society. Do you agree or disagree. Give your opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You applied for a job and were offered the position but have decided not to accept the offer. Write a letter to the HR supervisor with whom you interviewed. In your letter: explain the reason why you are declining the offer describe your reasons for staying with your current position.

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problem if it is not managed correctly. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh it's drawbacks?

As well as making money, businesses have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?