Young people say that travelling to different countries benefits them and the society. Do you agree or disagree. Give your opinion.
Travelling among young adults is increasing on and on for many reasons either for tourism, work, or studying. Youth claim that travelling can have personal and societal benefits. In
this
essay, I am going to shed some light on why I Linking Words
courage
the youth to travel abroad.
Verb problem
encourage
Firstly
, The main reason why I agree that teenagers should try and travel abroad is to enhance their personality and get to know more about foreign cultures. Linking Words
This
experience will help them get out of their comfort zone and give them some sense of Linking Words
responsibility
. To illustrate, when my brother finished high school he decided to go Use synonyms
Germany
and get his Change preposition
to Germany
bachelors
degree, he said that Change noun form
bachelor's
this
stage of his life Linking Words
tought
him to hold Correct your spelling
taught
the
Correct article usage
apply
responsibility
and find a part-time job to help him financially. Use synonyms
This
kind of Linking Words
responsibility
changed his personality Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
better
.
Correct article usage
the better
Secondly
, the second main reason for travelling abroad is to help the society. Some developing countries lack the technology and knowledge that developed countries have. Linking Words
For example
, in the 1950s Singapore was a poor country. Their leader Linking Words
took
a decision to invest in the power of the youth. The president sent over 60 thousand undergraduates to Verb problem
made
USA
and Europe in order to get the knowledge Correct article usage
the USA
the
have. Correct your spelling
they
And
doing Correct word choice
After
this
process for over 50 years, Singapore now is one of the most developed countries in the world.
In conclusion, I agree that young people should travel abroad to benefit them personally like character development Linking Words
and
give them Correct word choice
apply
sense
of Add an article
a sense
responsibility
, and benefit Use synonyms
the
society Correct article usage
apply
like
bringing knowledge and technology to the country.Change preposition
by
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. It is important to paraphrase the prompt effectively to show that you fully understand the question.
task achievement
For a higher score, you need to develop your main points more fully. Your ideas should be explained more comprehensively with clear links between them.
coherence cohesion
Your essay exhibits a satisfactory logical structure with an adequate introduction and conclusion. However, work on creating a stronger thesis statement and a more impactful conclusion correlating with your viewpoint.
task achievement
Support your ideas with more in-depth examples or evidence, which would strengthen the main points and contribute to a higher score for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Make use of a wider range of cohesive devices to ensure better flow of ideas, and avoid repetition by using synonyms effectively.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.