Some people think that lawbreakers should be sent to prison. However, others think that better talents among those should be made to work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is
heated
Correct article usage
a heated
show examples
controversy about whether the prisoner with better talents should be made to
work
. From my perspective, lawbreakers must be sentenced to jail,
although
some of them are talented in certain aspects of their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
To begin
with, sentencing the lawbreakers to prison, only in
this
way, can ensure that the sufferer's rights not be violated again.
Moreover
, for espionage crimes, isolating them from the outside can keep the nation in a safer situation. The
criminals
should receive adequate punishment and realize their faults
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
committing a crime before being released to society.
Otherwise
, those wrongdoers with a criminal record could commit another crime habitually. Particularly, talented crimes can upgrade the modus operandi that increases the difficulty of catching them.
Nevertheless
,
criminals
with professional talents can be granted
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
specific
work
under imprisonment. They deserve penalties because of their misbehaviours and crimes despite their talents.
However
, it is reasonable to allow reformed
criminals
to contribute to society with their expertise and skills.
For instance
, the police can employ reformed frauds to assist them in detecting fraud cases with their experience. Another example,
reformed
Add a missing verb
is reformed
show examples
hackers can
work
for corporations to protect technology intelligence from being stolen by competitors.
In addition
, they can
work
for the military to defend
national
Change preposition
against national
show examples
hacking activities. In case these talented expirees are virtuous, they should be couraged to
work
and make good use of their profession. In conclusion,
criminals
should be
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
imprisonment
Replace the word
imprisoned
show examples
because they deserve it. If someone with gifted expertise could leave the jail, it
is
Wrong verb form
would be
show examples
unequal to other prisoners and unfair to the sufferers.
Consequently
, lawbreakers with professions
also
need to be sentenced to prison as others.
Submitted by Steve Yan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses both views and presents a clear opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall logical structure is good, but ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly and cohesively.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: