Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#computer #education #people #trend #consequences

The technological

Correct article usage

Technological

show examples

devices are popular in

classrooms

in today's world. Few argue that

this

inclusion will result in damaging effects, whilst others claim that it is a positive one. In

this

essay

Rephrase

apply

show examples

further

, both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

statements will be discussed and

then

the conclusion will be drawn. Allowing laptops and computers in the

classrooms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

enhances the student's abilities to learn better. If a teacher provides information to the

students

, there is a possibility that they may forget soon, but

on the other hand

students driven

Correct your spelling

student-driven

show examples

research will enable

students

to contain

understanding

Add an article

the understanding

an understanding

show examples

of a topic for a longer duration.

A research

Correct article usage

Research

show examples

conducted by the IB organization in the UK,

for instance

, has proved that the school

students

who are taught in modern

classrooms

are way ahead in intelligence when compared to their counterparts who learn in traditional environments.

On the contrary

, children who are independently learning on their own without much technology involved

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will rely on their own intelligence, meaning that,

now-a-days

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

students

have become dependent on search engines and calculators for simple information and easy calculations respectively. A survey has revealed that 8 out of 10

students

who possess smart gadgets perform simple calculations on the devices rather than using their brains.

To conclude

although

people are becoming technology slaves, advanced technology is unavoidable.

The smart

Correct article usage

Smart

show examples

, modern

classrooms

are going to evolve in all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

parts of the world since they offer varied advantages for learners to update

knowledge

Correct pronoun usage

their knowledge

show examples

. Though the users are relying too much

for

Change preposition

show examples

small tasks, sessions to train the mind can be conducted to overcome

this

issue.

Therefore

, looking at the bright future of devices in the classroom, one should adapt and embrace the promising features of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

computers in schools.

Submitted by skomal1510 on Mon Jun 29 2020

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Task Achievement

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more engaging and clearly state the author's opinion. In addition, the essay should address both views in more depth.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is decent, but it lacks a more coherent connection and flow between the paragraphs. Each paragraph should be better linked to the previous and subsequent ones.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole . Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people say that now is the best time in history to be Iiving. What is your opinion about this? What other time in history would be interesting to Iive in?

It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right. Discuss both sides of the argument and give your own opinion.