INCREASING NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE CHOOSING COSMETOLOGY SURGERY TO IMPROVE THEIR APPEARANCE?WHAT ARE THE REASONS?DO YOU THINK IS IT A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

#people #cosmetology #surgery #appearance #development

There can be seen a rising trend of having surgical transformations to enhance the outer look of individuals.

This

can be due to the set glam standards, made by social

media

and numerous advertisements are done by

makeup

industries. I believe that

this

can put drastic effects on humans, making them feel uncomfortable, about their natural

beauty

. Social

media

and

beauty

bloggers have set high standards that give inferiority complex to people.

Moreover

, cosmetic industries have gone crazy for selling their goods and services by putting enormous advertisements to attract people.

Also

, there is a trend that has been set on social

media

i.e. having a pointed nose and bold lips that

makeup

surgeries made possible.

For example

, Botox was the famous surgery for having bold lips, so the girls with small lips go for it. Our natural

beauty

is the uniqueness

that is

gifted to us by God. I firmly believe that appreciating one's simplicity and

beauty

are more essential rather than persuading them to have

makeup

abscission.

Also

, if one is having self-confidence in him than no one can make them feel uncomfortable about their looks. We should tell our-self that we are perfect and beautiful, rather than listening to other

makeup

influencers and surgeons. As they are only promoting their business without the concerns that our face can

also

be destroyed by the failed surgeries. In conclusion, more and more people are looking for cosmetic surgery to enhance their looks. The main reason for

this

can be numerous advertisements that are done by

makeup

industries and the set

beauty

standards on social

media

beauty

bloggers and

makeup

artists. I firmly believe that it can have drastic impacts on society making individuals feel more insecure and doubtful about their natural

beauty

This

can cause more depression and stress among youngster.

Submitted by ALI on Sat Feb 20 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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INCREASING NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE CHOOSING COSMETOLOGY SURGERY TO IMPROVE THEIR APPEARANCE?WHAT ARE THE REASONS?DO YOU THINK IS IT A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that children should be free to enjoy their life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think it's better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Nowadays, one of the widely discussed problems are about traffic jams. What we should to minimise this problem? This essay will discuss about it.

Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting.

Solar energy is becoming more and more popular as a source of household energy in many countries around the world. Why is this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of solar energy?