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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think it's better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #friends
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Nowadays, rapid change is happening all over the world, not only in the environment but
also
 the humans. We must acknowledge that we humans are evolving.
Moreover
,
this
 situation leads to a discussion about whether we opt to befriend someone who always has the same idea and thought process or whether we better make a connection with a person who sometimes possesses different and contrasting ideas from us.
This
 essay will explain both views along my point of view, which is in favour of the latter statement because of its long-term benefits and end it with a conclusion. Starting with the first argument is that we should partner with someone who has the same pattern, the biggest reason is they could be our main support system.
Furthermore
, Mental support is as important as ever especially when we are in doubt over something precious and we must decide quickly.
For example
, maybe deep inside we already know what product are we going to buy, we just need a little push to convince ourselves to purchase the product.
In addition
,
this
 reason has become the main reason why people want to surround themselves with people who boost their confidence with an in-line idea. The second perspective is
also
 intriguing in that we better opt to receive various ideas, including those that completely contrast. If we are open to many kinds of ideas we could create a better version of ourselves in future because our thinking and analysis will be sharper than before.
For instance
, we are in the middle of a meeting which has a goal to create some project. There is a method called brainstorming, a session that allows everyone in the room to speak for themselves. It always has a different approach and we must be accustomed to the atmosphere. In conclusion,
although
 I believe discussions of
this
 topic would have continued with strong arguments from each opinion, I concur having a different spectrum would give a better outcome.
Submitted by aulia.abdillah.ramadhan on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure there is a clear logical structure to your essay, with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion. Use transition words to connect paragraphs seamlessly and maintain flow.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your main points with clear, focused examples. This will help in providing a stronger argument and add clarity to your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bond
  • support
  • unconditional love
  • shared values
  • mutual understanding
  • trust
  • emotional well-being
  • interdependence
  • societal norms
  • companionship
  • loyalty
  • advice
  • experiences
  • mentorship
  • trustworthy
  • reliable
  • reliable
  • cherish
  • strengthen
  • deepen
  • attach importance to
  • prioritize
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