IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #weight #people #level #health #fitness #measures
In many countries, the number of people who became overweight has increased and their
health
 condition and
fitness
 level are declining.
This
 essay will discuss some of the reasons why these problems have arisen and some of the steps that can be taken to address them.
Initially
, many people in some countries prefer to fast foods due to lack of time.
Although
, it can be done easily and saves more time apart from that it is
also
 detrimental to our
health
.
For instance
, people who had no time during their work will prefer to ready made
food
 in their canteens.
This
 unhealthy
food
 is hazardous to
health
 and results in an increase in
weight
 of people.
However
, people consume fat contained meals they do not show any interest in their
fitness
.
This
 makes people lethargy and no productive in their work.
On the other hand
, these can be solved by consuming
health
 foods and drinks. Apart from that, doing exercise and intense workout can help people to reduce their
weight
.
For example
, eating more fruits and vegetables can be beneficial as it provides many vitamins and minerals which are essential for our body. Maintaining a proper diet can help people to reduce
weight
 and increase
fitness
. Even though fast foods are unhealthy for our body, it should be consumed in a limited way. Government should run campaigns to make awareness among people about the healthy
food
 and
fitness
. To conclude, people must take healthy
food
 by avoiding fast
food
 and
also
 should concentrate on their diet. Increase in
health
 levels can raise the productivity of the people. Maintaining a proper
weight
 or personality can be helpful to build confidence in a person. So, people should maintain a proper
weight
 and should consume healthy
food
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: