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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

These days, school should focus more on producing young people who have the skills required to join the workforce, rather than focusing on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#school #focus #people #skills #workforce #subjects
In today’s high-pressure working environment, it is more essential than ever to have the
skills
 required to get and keep a high-quality job. If
schools
 can provide
this
 to
students
 before they enter the workplace,
this
 will help them enjoy a more satisfying career.
Therefore
, in my view,
schools
 need to teach not only academic subjects but
also
 social and career
skills
.
It is clear that
schools
 these days urgently need to provide
students
 with as many opportunities to learn about the world of work as possible. If
students
 leave school with insufficient knowledge in
this
 area, life will be very difficult for them in future.
For example
, it is necessary for people to know the social
skills
 to deal with problems at work, and the ability to get on well with their colleagues.
As a result
, they will be able to overcome the frustrations that are inevitable in any career and enjoy success in the workplace.
On the other hand
, it is still necessary for
schools
 to teach academic subjects
such
 as law or medicine at university, it will be necessary for them to have suitable academic training in order to be successful in
this
 type of study.
For instance
, universities demand that
students
 possess the ability to research and write in an approved academic manner.
Consequently
,
students
 who do not possess academic
skills
 will not be able to succeed at university
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
therefore
 will be precluded from applying for a very wide range of highly paid jobs. These days, employers require a wider range of abilities than ever before.
Although
skills
 in the workplace are vital for many, it is still critically important that
students
 are able to flourish in an academic environment in order to enhance and develop their careers.
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task achievement
Make sure to provide a clear opinion in the introduction and explain how the entire essay will support this view.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of connective words and phrases to improve logical flow and readability.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support each main point and enhance the persuasiveness of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of jumping to new ideas without providing sufficient transitions to maintain smoothness in the text.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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