In some countries university students live away from home and in another cities wile study. Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages of living in another cities?

In today's global world,
Education
is the most momentous thing in an individual life. Most precious years of our life have been spent in getting
education
Add an article
an education
show examples
. To reap the benefits of it some students prefer to study in different cities far from
home
,
while
others get an
education
from the neighbourhood. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
the advantages of studying away from the family are
dominating
Correct quantifier usage
more dominating
show examples
than its negatives. In today's
fast growing
Add a hyphen
fast-growing
show examples
cities
Add a comma
cities,
show examples
many
skills
for living
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
to be learned from the present sprouting generation.
Get
Wrong verb form
Getting
show examples
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
distant from
home
gives
the
Correct pronoun usage
me the
show examples
opportunity to learn
such
skills
.
For instance
, money and time management, cooking, cleaning and how all these things can be managed with our daily studies when the responsible
person
is
far-away
Correct your spelling
far away
show examples
.
Such
skills
in
overall
development. Another important domain for getting an
education
near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the university is the surrounding atmosphere, which is full of other pupils helps to encourage for to do the hard work. Other than that the opportunities of mixing with people from different
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
give the chance to develop maturity and several qualities or
skills
also
can be learned from
this
, which leads towards a successful life.
However
, living away from
home
can be emotionally depressing for some students,
as a consequence
, they are not able to concentrate on study.
On the other hand
, studying in
homeland
Add an article
the homeland
show examples
can be helpful in saving money
due to
dorms and hostels could be more expensive.
Moreover
, older
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
or
caretaker
Fix the agreement mistake
caretakers
show examples
in
surroundings
Correct pronoun usage
their surroundings
show examples
can be favouring
while
studying, which helps
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
concentrate more on
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
rather than other responsibilities.
In
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
disturbing
neighbourhood
Fix the agreement mistake
neighbourhoods
show examples
and siblings can be injurious
while
learning.
In addition
, the shadow of a responsible
person
in
Correct article usage
the surrounding
show examples
surrounding
Replace the word
surroundings
show examples
could prevent a
person
from
self development
Add a hyphen
self-development
show examples
and maturity. To recapitulate,
although
the disadvantages
such
as emotional breakdown, the advantages of independence and
self development
Add a hyphen
self-development
show examples
are more significant.
According to
the above argument, I can
be agreed
Wrong verb form
agree
show examples
that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
of studying far from
home
are overwhelming.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific point and avoid repetition of ideas. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly present the main idea and summarize the essay.
task response
You have addressed the prompt and provided a clear opinion. Ensure that the supporting ideas and examples are well-developed and relevant to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: