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Writing Samples
Band 7

People are responsible for their happiness. Others feel happiness depends on other factors in their life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People
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 have different views about
happiness
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 and how to reach it in
life
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.
While
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 some of them think every individual should gain it on their own, others believe that there are other
factors
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 in
life
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 that must be considered in order to live happily. I think both views are accurate and describe the reality of being happy. On the one hand,
people
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 can be responsible for their own
happiness
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. In today’s living situation, where mental problems are increasing, depression or anxiety can affect
people
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’s quality of
life
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 and make them feel bad about themselves. If
people
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 take these diseases seriously and consult a psychiatrist about their mental status, they can benefit from the latest advice of a psychologist, or if their situation is serious, they can use medicines under the supervision of a doctor. By improving their underlying situations, they can feel better about themselves and experience
happiness
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 in their lives. So,
this
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 can explain
people
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’s responsibility towards their own
happiness
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.
On the other hand
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, feeling happy can depend on external
factors
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, which are sometimes out of
people
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's control.
In other words
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, relationship status, income, or job satisfaction can all be responsible for one’s
happiness
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.
For example
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, someone whose income is not enough to meet his/her needs cannot make himself/herself happy or ignore his/her situation because these
factors
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 directly influence
people
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’s moods and their grasp of
life
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. So feeling happy can be related to other
factors
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 rather than one’s desire. In conclusion, the first view is valid because mental diseases can affect
happiness
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, and
people
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 are responsible for improving their mental health. The second view is
also
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 accurate because there are external
factors
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,
such
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 as income or relationship status that can make
people
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 happy or sad.
Therefore
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, each theory explains the reality of
happiness
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.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each body paragraph focuses on a clear main idea, which is developed further through explanations or examples.
Task Achievement
Work on presenting clear and comprehensive ideas by expanding on points made and exploring them in greater detail.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more relevant, specific examples to strengthen points and add depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Self-reliance
  • Positive psychology
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Well-being
  • Mindset
  • Personal choices
  • Environmental factors
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Emotional resilience
  • Quality of life
  • Subjective well-being
  • External circumstances
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