IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, a lot of people use credit cards for online shopping. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is a fact that
people
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 make
payments
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 by credit
cards
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 for purchasing stuff on the internet rather than cash recently.
This
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 essay will explain the positive and negative impacts of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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bank
card
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 usage behaviour. We cannot deny that the number of
people
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 who use charge
cards
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 for shopping is increasing since there are some advantages
of
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to
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 using
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. First of all, it is the most convenient method for spending nowadays
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 for online shopping. On top of that, the amount of
payments
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 can easily be checked in the bank account application which ones normally download on their mobile phones.
Thus
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, it is the real-time checking
whether
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of whether
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 the
payments
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 are successfully approved or
the
Correct word choice
whether the
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 purchase amounts are correct or not.
As a result
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,
this
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 can avoid the mistakes that occur from buying suddenly.
Nevertheless
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, using credit
cards
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 is like spending future money. When
people
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 cannot control themselves in shopping, It can cause problems
such
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 as overspending or accumulated debt in the long run.
Additionally
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, once we put the
card
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 information on the internet, it is easy for the scammers to hack those secret databases.
Then
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, the bank
card
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 limits are not secured anymore.
For instance
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, there is some news about hackers
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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getting one’s
card
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 info for buying random stuff regularly. It would be a big loss
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 if a person cannot cancel those illegal
payments
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 on time. In conclusion, even though
people
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 tend to use charge
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card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
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 more, notes and coins still play
the
Correct article usage
a
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 vital role
for
Change preposition
in
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 daily life.
In particular
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, when we buy something from shops that do not provide
the
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apply
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card
Use synonyms
 services, we still need cash
for buying
Change preposition
to buy
show examples
.
Thus
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,
people
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 should carry both cash and credit
cards
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 in their wallet.

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Task Achievement
For Task Achievement, ensure that your argument is balanced, covering both sides of the issue with equal depth. Expand your range of specific examples to support your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, strive to present ideas more cohesively by improving transitions and ensuring paragraphing is logical. Ensure your introduction sets out a clear position and the conclusion effectively summarizes the argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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