IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that children should brought up in cities. Others believe that the countryside offers a better environment for children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, citizens believe that children should be raised in towns
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 others believe that, a better environment for children to grow up in our countryside. Below, I will discuss both views and give examples.
Firstly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, children brought up in cities are exposed to many reasons and opportunities.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a child will study in a good school and will have a lot of devices to carry out research
similar
Correct word choice
such

There may be an adjective issue here.

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 as phones, tablets, computers and books. For that , a reason many will always succeed and have great jobs.
Apart from
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
constructions
Fix the agreement mistake
construction

It seems that constructions may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 of roads in municipalities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is

It seems that the verb are does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 always well-built, and citizens will always have access to vehicles.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in terms of health, the best medical services are provided and verities of different foods are sold in restaurants which gives people the opportunity to explore different things.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, people who
rise
Verb problem
grew

There may be a verb use issue here.

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 up in villages are used to
hard
Correct article usage
a hard

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 life which makes them good at time management and multitasking.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, folks will get up early in the morning, clean the house, and make breakfast before taking a shower at school at 7am. When that happens they are always conscious of the time and will live to achieve greater things. Being reared in an Urban area helps to be creative since they have limited gadgets. Many will use bamboo to make drums or chairs or build houses.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, others will cultivate crops
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as mazes, beans, tomatoes, yams and many others. By doing so, they can sell some to earn money in order to provide for their other need. That makes them very independent
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Staying in a remote area or local town
is of
Verb problem
has

There may be a verb use issue here.

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 great advantages and disadvantages. It depends now on individuals how they want to live their lives and how parents want to bring their babies up. In my opinion, regardless of where their home is, they should try everything no matter how hard or light it might be. By so doing they will be able to handle themselves whenever they find their self in any situation.

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task response
Ensure that you fully address the prompt and provide a balanced discussion of both views, giving examples for each. Use clear topic sentences and conclude each paragraph effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas in a clear and logical manner. Use transition words to connect your ideas and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban upbringing
  • cultural diversity
  • serene environment
  • open-mindedness
  • adaptability
  • health and wellbeing
  • quality education
  • healthcare facilities
  • sense of community
  • independence
  • creativity
  • physical and mental wellbeing
  • social bonds
  • enrichment
  • exposure
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