IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Tourism is an ever growing industry. What benefits do you think tourism brings to individuals and society?

#tourism #industry #individuals #society
Indeed, tourism is one of the biggest industries worldwide. It has grown, especially over the
last
 few decades, by leaps and bounds. Perhaps, according to me, tourism is beneficial to both citizens and the community.
To begin
 with, the local communities are
benefitted
Suggestion
benefiting
 as there would be
wide range
Suggestion
a wide range
 of cultural exchange and huge job opportunities are created. The government officials invest a tremendous amount of money to provide great amenities and facilities in order to attract tourists from worldwide. The
pre-eminent
greatest in importance or degree or significance or achievement
preeminent
 example is the Statue of Unity in India for which the officials have spent around $360 million for the sake of alluring tourists.
Besides
, other businesses like restaurants, clothing and various small scale industries would reap financial rewards.
This
 not only creates employment to the locals but
also
 develops the nation’s economy.
In addition
, as people attend from different countries, background and ethnic groups, the gatherings
develops
Suggestion
develop
 a platform to meet and mix with each other.
Moreover
, people share their values and customs in
respectable manner
Suggestion
a respectable manner
. While the tourists create ample jobs to the small scale industries, the local vendors like toy sellers and auto rickshaw drivers would gain employment as the visitors purchase the local products as a token of souvenir.
As a result
, it can bring international investors
to
Suggestion
in
such
 countries.
Consequently
, both the individuals and local communities would benefit significantly. In conclusion,
although
 tourism plays
a
Suggestion
an
indispensible
not to be dispensed with; essential
indispensable
 role in
development
Suggestion
the development
 and prosperity of a country, it
also
 provides vigorous
economy
Suggestion
economic
 growth and wide cultural exchange among local people and societies.
Submitted by moinuddinsyed16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: