IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

More and more people decide to eat healthy food and exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this trend? What can be done to encourage more people to eat healthier and exercise?

#people #food #exercise #trend
These days many
people
 are a lot more cautious about their food intake and lifestyle.
Also
, an increasing number of individuals have begun healthy eating habits and exercising regularly.
This
 essay will elucidate the reasons for
this
 trend and the ways in which we can encourage more
people
 to avoid junk and exert daily. Nowadays, the public suffers from ailments at an early age
due to
 their sedentary lifestyle. Lack of training and consumption of fast food cause detrimental impacts on our bodies.
For instance
, many youngsters suffer from obesity and heart diseases since their adolescent age.
Moreover
, eating nutritious delicacies and practising yoga and meditation revives mankind, and releases stress hormones from the body.
Due to
 these reasons, many
people
 make conscious efforts in order to follow a balanced diet and exercise efficiently. So,
for encouraging
Change preposition
to encourage
show examples
 more personnel toward nutritious consumption and exerting themselves regularly, the government authorities can conduct campaigns to increase the popularity among the masses.
Further
, the companies
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
can organise sessions for their employees.
For example
, they can arrange free sessions for yoga, Zumba and meditation so that their
people
 can get rejuvenated, and
this
 will lead to an increase in their concentration and efficiency. Apart from that it will ensure job satisfaction and increase employee retention.
To conclude
, it has certainly been observed that a growing number of
people
 are already aware of the
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
 and benefits of a healthy diet and exercising daily.
However
, efforts should be taken
for motivating
Change preposition
to motivate
show examples
 the masses so that they understand that it is the need of the hour to pay attention to their physical well-being.
Submitted by prabhunisha0994 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the reasons for the trend of healthy eating and exercise, as well as provides suggestions to encourage more people to adopt these habits. The ideas are relevant but could be further supported with specific examples and a more thorough discussion of the reasons behind the trend.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are supported throughout the essay. However, the logical structure could be improved for better organization of ideas. Try to establish clearer connections between sentences and paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow of ideas.

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