Some people believe tertiary education should be free, but others say universities should charge students. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
The issue
whether
or not Change preposition
of whether
students
must be charged for higher education has grown in importance in these years. Some individuals argue that there should be no tuition fee when in
comes to studying at Correct your spelling
it
tertiary
level and Correct article usage
the tertiary
in
Change preposition
on
contrary
some believe in Correct article usage
the contrary
exact
opposite. Add an article
the exact
Although
there are outstanding reasons for both sides, I vividly agree with the former opinion based on my personal observations.
It is irrefutable that if the
education Correct article usage
apply
in
higher levels transformed Change preposition
at
to
a Change preposition
into
must pay
amenity, it would pose a situation which yields Add a hyphen
must-pay
to
Change preposition
apply
a
competition between wealthy parents and not a healthy one based on intelligence and hard work for Correct article usage
apply
students
. For instance
, if being admitted in
a high-level university was confined to being charged Change preposition
to
of
a good amount of money and not having a virtuous CV, Change preposition
apply
not an
individual student would work flat out to get admitted. Rephrase
no
This
consequently
would contribute a
group of profiteers that we affectionately call “Mafia”, who try to make a lucrative business out of Change preposition
to a
this
situation. These Mafias do not advocate the financial side of the
free studying and defraud the Correct article usage
apply
students
and their parents to pay more and have more prosperity. Also
deprived students
with a
good potential would lose a chance to improve their Remove the article
apply
life
, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
therefore
society would lose efficient future employees.
Although
people that
believe universities should charge Correct pronoun usage
who
students
claim that preparing communal facilities is an issue that must be taken into consideration and it is something that parents should pay for, I strongly oppose due to
the tax policy. As a result
of paying tax
, governments should provide a convenient chance for all Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
students
to have good educational circumstances and therefore
implement a good range of amenities from the tax revenue. Hence
the said individuals’ reason is not convincing and there are plenty of other ways to encounter the economic obstacles.
To recapitulate, it is important for universities to focus on the educational sides
of the applicant Fix the agreement mistake
side
students
and for the authority to assign an appropriate amount of the
revenue for Correct article usage
apply
the
tertiary education. With implementing a balanced approach of aspects of both these issues there would be no burden on either the universities to meet their financial needs or the Correct article usage
apply
students
to afford the tuition fee for the ones that they are capable of studying in. Hence
I personally think that studying in
higher levels must be free.Change preposition
at
Submitted by mahtab.motevallian on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Although you have included an introduction and a conclusion, both could have been more engaging and succinct. The thesis statement should be clearly stated in the introduction, and the conclusion should effectively summarize the essay's key points without introducing new ideas.
logical structure
Your essay exhibits a grasp on logical structure, but transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. You should make better use of cohesive devices to signal the beginning of new ideas and to link sentences together more fluidly.
supported main points
Main points are present, but they require better support with more concrete examples and data. The argument would be stronger if you included specific and relevant examples that clearly support your viewpoint. Remember that hypothetical scenarios do not hold the same weight as well-researched factual examples.
complete response
Your response addressed the task; however, the balance in discussing both views could be improved. Ensure that you have devoted equal attention to discussing the opposing view, in order to fully meet the requirements of a 'Discuss both views and give your opinion' essay type.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas you have presented are understandable but need to be developed more thoroughly. Aim for clarity and depth in explaining your arguments, as comprehensive development of ideas is essential for a higher band score.
relevant specific examples
Your essay lacks specific examples to substantially enhance your arguments. Providing real-world examples or citing studies can add credibility to your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.