It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that some
governments
of developed nations choose to engage in foreign affairs in different areas. Although
some believe that people inside the country are the ones who need the most help from theFix the agreement mistake
government
governments
, governments
still cannot ignore people from the rest of the world
. It is clear that
many countries in the world
still have not recognized fundamental human rights. First,
citizens
of those countries are deprived of their freedom and are oppressed in many inhumane ways. Many Vietnamese dissidents, for example
, were sentenced to death by the Vietnamese authority, which could have been saved if the US government had tried to prevent that from happening. Second,
since citizens
of those countries are not armed and lack of
negotiating power, they are unable to claim their democracy back. By using diplomatic pressure to negotiate the terms, the Change preposition
apply
governments
from
developed nations Change preposition
of
allows
Change the verb form
allow
citizens
from overseas to influence their own governments
in the policy-making process. It has been true in many cases that prolonged poverty cannot be solved without the
assistance from foreign Correct article usage
apply
governments
. One product of poverty is hunger, causing millions of deaths every year all around the world
. If outside governments
had stepped in and provided financial assistance, those lives would have been saved. In addition
to financial support, governmental organizations can help provide the
education and skills for those Correct article usage
apply
citizens
. Plenty of evidence have
suggested that the most effective way to overcome poverty is education. In conclusion, Change the verb form
has
governments
cannot ignore people living in distress from the rest of the world
. By providing education and financial support, citizens
around the world
would be able to live a better life.Submitted by Trang Lê on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite