Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Biological diversity in the ecological system needs human preservation to prevent the extinction of
species
. It is argued that whether protection of wild animals
should be all-rounded or limited to several wild animals
. To me, human
should conserve Fix the agreement mistake
humans
the
nature without over-intervention.
It is said that Scientists and Zoologists should protect all varieties of natural Correct article usage
apply
animals
. Every species
are
valuable to maintain the uncountable number of animal types. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
However
, it will lead to over protection
Correct your spelling
overprotection
that
the Correct word choice
and
animals
may lose their skills to hunt and to
build a shelter. Fix the infinitive
apply
For instance
, if mankind put tigers under protection, tigers may lose their innate ability to hunt prey and only wait for food provided by the zoo keepers. Meanwhile, when deers
are protected, they may lose the awareness of danger, Fix the agreement mistake
deer
consequently
they may be killed easily. Protecting all kinds of Add a comma
consequently,
animals
is another kind of destroy
because the natural environment becomes artificial.
Replace the word
destruction
Nevertheless
, some activists of animal rights emphasize only conserving the
endangered Correct article usage
apply
species
to prevent their extinction. The natural habitats of wild animals
should not be disturbed. Only when the number of certain species
dropped
dramatically that going to be extinct, Wrong verb form
drops
human
must intervene to try to keep them alive. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
For example
, pandas were categorized as endangered species
in China, and therefore
the Chinese government devoted a lot
Add the preposition
lot of
efforts
to try to Fix the agreement mistake
effort
nuture
more baby pandas.
I agree that it is not necessary for Correct your spelling
nurture
human
to protect all wild Fix the agreement mistake
humans
species
. Human
should only monitor and record different types of natural Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
animals
to have a better understanding of diversity in species
. Unless the species
encountered
the danger of extinction, Wrong verb form
encounters
human
should not intervene Fix the agreement mistake
humans
the
ecology.
In conclusion, human activities Change preposition
in the
such
as cutting trees from the forest and emitting greenhouse gases that always destruct
the natural Verb problem
destroy
environments
. All people should bear the responsibility to maintain a lifestyle of less carbon footprint to provide a better living area for Fix the agreement mistake
environment
animals
.Submitted by ada on
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task response
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, presenting arguments for both views and giving a clear opinion. However, some ideas are not fully developed, and examples could be more specific and relevant.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, with a well-organized introduction and conclusion and supported main points. However, there are some instances of unclear or loosely connected ideas that affect the coherence of the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example