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Band 5

It is expected that in the future old people are going to outnumber young people in many countries. Do you feel this is a positive or negative development?

#future #people #countries #development
In many parts of the world, the ratio of older people to younger people is swelling.
Although
 an older populace does pose a few benefits, it is felt that
this
 trend is more negative than positive in nature.
This
 will be shown by looking at how a large elderly population strains
c
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the
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ountry’s public’s health resources and deterred younger from having their own children.
First
, the aged require extra attention from society’s public health care services that may put pressure on the economy.
For instance
,
aging
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ageing
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 Canadian, increasingly depend on free the public healthcare services which
is
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are
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 funded by taxpayers. As the number of people over sixty -five is increasing, the needs of medicine are soaring and financing the needs of medicine is expected to put immense stress on
e
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the
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conomy.
This
 example clarifies that
g
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a
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rowing number of seniors it is a negative phenomenon.
In addition
 to
this
, younger people mostly deterred of having their own children since they are responsible to take care of elder family member. statistics, in
twenty-
Add a hyphen
twenty-first
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first
 century, show that the birth rates in some countries, like japan
Add the comma(s)
,
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have been dropped dramatically due to increasing the figure of aged citizen.
Such
 a state that the government hasn’t
fund
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funded
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 in daycares young people couldn’t afford to have kids and simultaneously take care of their parents so it
curb
Change the verb form
curbs
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 them to have newborn that it is not a positive change. As the above evidence shows, there are two prominent drawbacks because of outweighing the population of
e
Add an article
the
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lderly in a society one is the burden on
e
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the
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conomy and the other one can be decreasing of birthrate. Despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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this
, it seemed less can do to counter
to
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
this
 development
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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