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Band 6

Nowadays it is not only large companies that can make films. Digital technology enables anyone to produce films. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#companies #films #technology #anyone #development
Thanks to the advancement of digital
technology
, it is now possible for almost anyone to make a film. Personally, I think
this
 is a positive
development
, and will discuss the issue in the following essay.
Firstly
, with the advancement of personal electronic devices,
such
 as smartphones, computers, and digital cameras, making
films
 is now reasonably simple for many
people
.
This
 advancement has
therefore
 allowed film-making to become a hobby and creative outlet for many
people
 around the world. There are even many apps available these days that allow
people
 to shoot and edit short
films
 on their smartphones, and
then
 upload the content to social media and other platforms for
people
 to see.
Secondly
, producing
films
 is not only a hobby for some
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 a passion and a career goal. Now, with
such
technology
 available, even those who do not have the opportunity to formally study filmography at university, or those with a natural talent for film-making are able to follow their dreams.
Besides
 being beneficial for those seeking creative expression,
this
development
 is
also
 positive in other ways. In the past couple of decades, Hollywood movies have become repetitive and boring for many
people
, and thanks to the
development
 of
technology
, many creative directors and film-makers who may not have been able to produce their
films
 or release them to the mainstream public are now able to thanks to the internet and digital
technology
.
This
 has allowed for a greater diversity of
films
 and videos for
people
 to see.
And
Correct word choice
Finally
show examples
finally
,
technology
 has now allowed
people
 to create documentaries about important issues in society and publish them online to inform
people
 about pressing issues,
such
 as the environment. In the past, what
films
 and documentaries
people
 were able to see was limited to what was produced by large
film producing
Add a hyphen
film-producing
show examples
 companies, whose main concerns
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 making profits. In conclusion,
although
 there may be some minor drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
development
, they are far outweighed by the benefits that it brings.
Submitted by trung.ntt1210 on

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task response
The response addresses the task fully and covers all key elements of the prompt. It presents a clear position and provides relevant examples to support the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a well-organized structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. The ideas are logically connected throughout the essay, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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