Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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In the
contemborary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
era,
the
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apply
show examples
technology
make
Wrong verb form
has made
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life comfortable more than past decade. It
bring
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brings
show examples
the
work
to
home
, and
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
the teacher
for
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to
show examples
student
Add an article
a student
the student
show examples
on a small screen. So, most
of
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apply
show examples
people now prefer to
work
on
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at
show examples
home
, and let their children
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
online, indeed because it
less
Add a missing verb
is less
show examples
expense
Replace the word
expensive
show examples
and suitable. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
it is a negative development. In
this
essay, I will discuss why it takes a
neagative
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negative
way and
demonestrate
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demonstrate
the reasons.
In
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On
show examples
on
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one
show examples
hand, the setting on same way and a lot of time on devices to
work
or
study
and not
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
place
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
harmful
of
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to
show examples
Correct article usage
the phisycal
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phisycal
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physical
body, ability to see affect
also
becuase
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because
of
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
directly
to
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on
show examples
the devices either phone or tablet or computer. The ability
of moving
Replace the preposition
to move
show examples
also
will
effect
Wrong verb form
be affected
show examples
because you
set
Verb problem
spend
show examples
a long time without moving or walking from
place
Correct pronoun usage
one place
show examples
to another and
may
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maybe
show examples
you
became
Wrong verb form
will become
show examples
a
laizy
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lazy
lay
person, who
want
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wants
show examples
to stay in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
place, eat,
work
Correct word choice
and work
show examples
. The most important example is during
coronavirus
Correct article usage
the coronavirus
show examples
pandemic which
lead
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leads
show examples
every one
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everyone
show examples
on the earth to
work
on
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at
show examples
home
and
study
. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
result of nobody
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
out and when the pandemic
finish
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finished
show examples
I
remmember
Correct your spelling
remember
my body
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
not even endure any
desease
Correct your spelling
disease
, my immunity was dropped and I got 6
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
sick.
On the other hand
, the social skills will decrease because the
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
let kids learn at
home
and there is
nothing
Rephrase
no
show examples
interaction with the other
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
and can not discuss something deeply because they just contact
remotly
Correct your spelling
remotely
. And
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
did not do
will
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well
show examples
and
study
will
Correct your spelling
well
show examples
because when the teacher
ask
Change the verb form
asks
show examples
something the student has
online
Correct article usage
an online
show examples
searcher
Replace the word
search
show examples
so he will not
thinking
Change the verb form
think
be thinking
show examples
and go through the
searcher
Replace the word
search
show examples
and find the answer.
Nevertheless
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult
also
may not be honest when they do their
work
, may they make others do their jobs or something like
this
. In the end,
perhabs
Correct your spelling
perhaps
remote
work
,
study
Correct word choice
and study
show examples
help a lot of people
in
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apply
show examples
control
theexpense
Correct your spelling
the expense
of life but it has a lot of
disavantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
that may lead
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
a disaster.
Submitted by kazza735 on

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logical structure
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure. The presence of an introduction and conclusion is noted, but they need to be strengthened and made clearer.
logical structure
Each paragraph should have a central idea and all sentences within that paragraph should connect to that central idea. Work on creating more logical transitions between ideas for better flow.
supported main points
Support main points with specific and relevant examples. While there was an attempt to include examples, such as the experience during the coronavirus pandemic, try to include more detailed and varied examples to strengthen the argument.
complete response
Ensure that the response directly answers the question and stays on topic throughout the essay. It seems the essay focused on the negative aspects but did not weigh them against any potential positives or fully conclude by stating a clear opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Aim to express ideas clearly and comprehensively. Work on clarity by constructing sentences more carefully and avoiding grammar and spelling mistakes that hinder understanding.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant examples to substantiate your arguments. Make sure these examples are specific and directly relate to the points you are trying to make.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • e-learning
  • accessibility
  • inclusive
  • productivity
  • personalized learning
  • disciplined routine
  • interpersonal skills
  • cybersecurity
  • sustainability
  • work-life balance
  • physical disabilities
What to do next:
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