Some people think that all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #lawbreakers #prison #alternatives

In a day and age, the crime rate

increases

Wrong verb form

has increased

show examples

considerably compared to the

last

decade, so

people

have different views about

all

Correct word choice

whether all

show examples

criminals should be sent to jail.

While

there are good arguments about other measures, I personally believe that it would be significantly better. There are two main reasons why it could be argued that all offenders could receive

prison

sentences.

Firstly

, imprisonment is able to exert a deterrent on potential lawbreakers, which results in a considerable drop in the crime rate in society.

Vietnam

Change preposition

In Vietnam

show examples

, where the national authorities

introduce

Wrong verb form

introduced

show examples

that policy, the percentage of law violators who engage in criminal activities

decreases

Wrong verb form

decreased

show examples

remarkably, which can be taken as an object lesson.

Besides

, social safety would be improved after sending criminals to

prison

because

people

who approach serious crimes

such

as murder or robbery could break peaceful lives. Despite the above arguments, I share the concern with those who believe that other better alternatives are carried out to tackle

this

problem. On the one hand, perpetrators should be sent to rehabilitation programs in order to prevent them from re-offend.

On the other hand

, they

also

should be educated by vocational training, which creates a large window of opportunities for them to study practical skills to come back to society. Particularly, criminals could learn computer skills in reformed

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

that help them to seek jobs and provide sufficient income after

prison

release. In conclusion,

although

convincing arguments

about

Change preposition

that

show examples

all lawbreakers should be imprisoned, it seems to me that

people

who commit minor crimes

such

as shoplifting and pickpocketing should be sent to rehabilitation programs and vocational training so as to give them a second chance in life. Some

people

think that all lawbreakers should be put into

prison

while

others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Submitted by phanvietha77 on Wed Jun 02 2021

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task response

Make sure to address all parts of the essay prompt. Include a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss both views, and a conclusion giving your own opinion.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow of ideas and use linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

304 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

University students are increasingly studying aboard as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying aboard outweigh the disadvantages?

While some believe that the best way to learn about current events is through newspapers, others think that they can learn news better through other forms of media. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those relate to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion