Television injects violence in children, and programs with violent scenes should be banned. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#television #violence #children #programs #scenes

The majority of people believes that in today's era aggression level among kids has increased mainly due to television

programs

. I agree with the given statement to some extent ,television is not only the source of

violence

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

certainly

Add a comma

,certainly

show examples

there are other factors too.In the following paragraph with the relevant reasons, I will illustrate the same.

Initially

, a channel needs to secure approval from the censor board before any program is aired on a

. In case,

violence

Add an article

the violence

show examples

level is high, it needs to be modified to an acceptable degree. As school

children

are not competent enough to differentiate between right or wrong,

therefore

mostly they end up picking

dangerous

Add an article

a dangerous

show examples

side

Fix the agreement mistake

sides

show examples

Secondly

, it has been observed that the

children

always try to imitate action moves they watch on

shows.

For instance

, due to the recent live show of the World Wrestling Championship in the region, the number

violent

Change preposition

of violent

show examples

activities were surge as

children

were indulged in replicating the fight moves viewed in the program.

In contrast

violence

existed even before the

was invented.

Firstly

, in the United States, juvenile punishment was established in the early 17th century , so

programs

are not the primary source of

violence

In addition

, it is often claimed that

children

do not enjoy watching

violence

programs

, they spent most of their

time with

cartoon

Fix the agreement mistake

cartoons

show examples

. According to the research by local authorities, youth mostly learn the violent activities from their home

enviornment

Correct your spelling

environment

Altenatively

Correct your spelling

Alternatively

, they claim that through the action

programs

on the

children

has developed

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

boxing skills without any mentorship. To elucidate, it is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

high time to restrict the violent

programs

for

children

socensor

Correct your spelling

sensor

censor

board needs to define clear guidelines and rating needs to be explained to guardians so that they can brief about the content and minimize the impact of

suchprograms

Correct your spelling

such programs

Submitted by rahulbhajji on Sun Aug 08 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

306 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Television injects violence in children, and programs with violent scenes should be banned. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attraction.To what extend do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward student who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that educational standards have declined in recent times, particularly in the areas of literacy and numeracy. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.

The government intends to ban smoking in public areas. Some people say that it is a good idea, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.