IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The government intends to ban smoking in public areas. Some people say that it is a good idea, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#government #ban #areas #people #idea
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Nowadays, smoking is one of the most popular things around the world, and most countries try to decrease it, especially in public areas. Some
people
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 believe that
this
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 is not needed for society
whereas
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 others really want to have
laws
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 to stop smoking in public areas. Personally, I am in the favour of the latter view. Convincing arguments can be made that many
people
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 know how worse results in the body when you
smoke
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 regularly. Unfortunately, they mostly do not stop smoking because it contains addictive substances.
Moreover
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, when
people
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smoke
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 repeatedly for a long time,
this
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 suffers human's lung and mental health.
Then
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, most of them can not stop smoking because the
smoke
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 already has affected their brain.
For example
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, forty per cent of young adults
smoke
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 five to nine times every day in Mongolia
according to
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 National Statistical Union.
As a result
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, the average age of men, who
smoke
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 every day, is around 61, and it is 5 to 7 years less than men who do not
smoke
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.
On the other hand
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, we do not need harsh
laws
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 or regulations to ban smoking in areas which are close to other
people
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 because it depends on human consciousness. If someone does not really want to suffer own or other
people
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's health, they have a chance in order to control the behaviour where they should
smoke
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. In Belgium,
for instance
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, there are not any sentence to the point where they need to
smoke
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, and nobody
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smoke
Change the verb form
smokes
show examples
 around public
according to
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 backpacker Mr James Ronald, in 2019.
To sum up
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, few
people
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 think that nations do not need to prepare
laws
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 related to smoking.
However
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, it is time to start using
laws
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 against public smoking in order to protect our families, especially children.
Submitted by enkhbat0923 on

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