Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward student who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In the modern educational system, the only outstanding
student
with the highest score usually Use synonyms
get
the prize from the Change the verb form
gets
school
. In Use synonyms
constrat
, some schools make a different standard of Correct your spelling
contrast
rewarding
by selecting the students who showed Replace the word
reward
the
enhanced results. Correct article usage
apply
In
Change preposition
This
this
essay, Linking Words
it
will list Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
both Remove the article
apply
perspective
of controversy and comment Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
my
opinion.
Those who often say the honor should go to the one who Change preposition
on my
achieve
the best performance in the Change the verb form
achieves
school
assert that it will maximize the meaning of the achievement and make them proud of themselves. Use synonyms
Additionally
, The value of the first prize will arouse Linking Words
the
competition among pupils, which naturally leads to an increase Correct article usage
apply
of
Change preposition
in
Linking Words
overall
frame of the Correct article usage
the overall
school
. Use synonyms
According to
a survey, Linking Words
serveal
students Correct your spelling
several
anserwed
that it will be more valuable when only one can get afford the win in the entire Correct your spelling
answered
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
school
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, some people insist Linking Words
of
that rewarding students with an individual's development is far more significant. The improvement of oneself compared to the previous semester Change preposition
apply
mean
that the Correct subject-verb agreement
means
student
actually Use synonyms
understand
the Change the verb form
understands
responsiblity
of their life and Correct your spelling
responsibility
put
an effort to make Wrong verb form
puts
a
progress, which is the most important point of learning as a Correct article usage
apply
student
in Use synonyms
school
age. Following to an experiment from Seoul Highschool, it revealed that it had Use synonyms
huge
impact on the Add an article
a huge
overall
achievement of the Linking Words
school
when the Use synonyms
school
Use synonyms
presents
Wrong verb form
presented
compliment
to the Fix the agreement mistake
compliments
pupil
who showed Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
the
better performance.
In conclusion, I Correct article usage
apply
also
believe that the Linking Words
honor
of the academic reward should go to the best Change the spelling
honour
student
because it can bring Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a postive
postive
influence of evoking Correct your spelling
positive
competitive
atmosphere in the schools.Correct article usage
a competitive
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coherence cohesion
The essay generally lacks coherence and cohesion. The logical structure is somewhat confusing, with the introduction failing to clearly set the stage for the subsequent discussion. Main points should be better developed with clear topic sentences and supporting sentences that flow logically from one to the next. Transition words and phrases are needed to connect ideas more effectively.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, the essay addresses the topic but does not provide a thorough discussion of both sides of the argument. Many of your ideas are not fully developed, and your reasoning at times is unclear. Examples are either not relevant or not fully explained. You must provide concrete examples to support your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. Ensure that you include a balanced discussion before giving your own opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.