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Band 4.5

Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #money #development
Who does not like to spend
money
? Now,
people
 likely
spending
Change the verb form
to spend
show examples
 more
money
 more than saving it because they would like to enjoy their
life
 or show
off
Correct pronoun usage
it off
show examples
 to their friends. It happens to most
people
 and it is a negative development which affects a
lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
lot
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
future
. Most
people
 think that human just
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 one
life
 and we only live once, so why don’t we enjoy it? With that point,
people
 start to spend more and more until overspending. Salary is growing up now in most of the countries. Enhance,
people
 are earning more and they want to show off their wealth. Sometimes, they just simply want to buy the item because it is trending. Sadly, it mostly happens to young
people
. Spending without thinking is a negative
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. Yes, you can say that you can earn more than you pay. Absolutely, it is not wrong.
However
, have you ever thought about your
future
? Job is not going to stick with you forever and so does salary.
This
 month, your bank account might have more than 4,000USD, but
next
 month, who knows?
Life
 not only has happiness
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 has unluckiness, which means
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 bad time could occur.
For example
, what if you have some bad news and your
money
 already ran out? How to solve it? No one can stop you
spending
Change preposition
from spending
show examples
money
. I understand that we just live once and yes we can enjoy and do anything we want but do not go until so far. In my opinion, spending without thinking and saving is a negative development. Honestly, I really hope that
people
 will think carefully before they buy something. We all should have a
future
 plan. Remember that living is not only for
this
 moment
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 for the
future
.
Submitted by joyveerbajaj on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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