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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family at the same time.what problems can this create?what are the possible solutions?

#people #career #time #create
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The utmost desire of every individual is to maintain a work-life balance for a bright future and a pleasant family.
This
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 essay intends to explain two major effects on human health and suggests some viable remedies to curb the grave concerns.
To begin
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 with, the maintenance of work and life causes an abundance of complications. The first and foremost is mental exhaustion which is
due to
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 the fact that individuals do not get enough rest as they are always busy with work at the office and at home as well.
For example
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, an employee doing a 9 to 5 job needs to complete household chores before and after the job and take care of children simultaneously.
Consequently
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, they do not have
time
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 to relax which results in mental stress. The second concern is damaging physical health
due to
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 fatigue and not taking proper diet which could result in some illness.
However
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, the menace of resolutions can be fought.
Time
Use synonyms
 management is the key to confronting challenges since it aids the individual to give a fixed
time
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 to complete all activities
such
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 as child care, grooming, work and rest. In
this
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 way, folks would get some
time
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 to relax and stress would be minimized.
Moreover
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, a working person needs to
take
Verb problem
eat
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 a balanced diet and
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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time
Use synonyms
 meditating which could eliminate any disease pattern in the body.
Therefore
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, following these strategies, the devastating effects can be combated triumphantly. In conclusion, work-life equilibrium is an acute issue because it causes hazardous impacts on the physical and psychological aspects of humans. the best approaches to deal with
this
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 are the aforementioned solutions.
Submitted by immysandhu94 on

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task response
The essay shows a clear understanding of the issues involved in balancing work and family life. However, the response is not fully developed and lacks depth, resulting in a lack of complete response.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat effective, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in the organization of ideas within paragraphs and the overall flow of the essay.
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