IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some say that
information
Use synonyms
 about
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
 should be shared
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 everyone,
while
Linking Words
 others would argue that it is better to keep some
information
Use synonyms
 confidential.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue that
although
Linking Words
 not sharing
information
Use synonyms
 can reduce
competition
Use synonyms
, sharing
data
Use synonyms
 can lead to better goods and consumers will be more confident. On the one hand, not sharing some
data
Use synonyms
 can reduce
competition
Use synonyms
 between companies.
This
Linking Words
 is because
not
Change preposition
by not
show examples
 telling some
information
Use synonyms
, the companies will remain ahead of the competitors and avoid patent issues. Sharing knowledge
such
Linking Words
 as finance and the algorithm confidential might cost the organization a lot of money and take away its competitive advantage and
this
Linking Words
 might cause
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
show examples
 in their earnings and their reputation.
For example
Linking Words
, Inditex normally only shares part of their
data
Use synonyms
, because if other clothes brands know all the
information
Use synonyms
 and the reason why they succeed, can cause
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher
competition
Use synonyms
 in the market.
However
Linking Words
, I believe pioneers always have more profit and are more successful than the followers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, sharing
information
Use synonyms
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 more confident. Since they know about all the process and all the details of the product,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
normally,
people
Use synonyms
 are more willing to use something that they are sure they are not harmful.
Also
Linking Words
, sharing
information
Use synonyms
 can lead to better
products
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because there will be more
people
Use synonyms
 working for the same aim. Individuals can help each other to get the final results
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
think of possible solutions and improve the product.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are many scientific
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
researches
 that succeed because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
scientists
shared
Wrong verb form
share
show examples
information
Use synonyms
 with others and
worked
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 together to get the result they
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
. In my opinion, sharing
information
Use synonyms
 can lead to
improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
show examples
 of
products
Use synonyms
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumers. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 less
competition
Use synonyms
 when
people
Use synonyms
 do not share
data
Use synonyms
 about their business, sharing
information
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 will trust more in the
products
Use synonyms
 and
Linking Words
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
there will be better
products
Use synonyms
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
I
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, believe that it is better to share
information
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 others.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Write a clear introduction summarizing both views and stating your opinion clearly.
Body Paragraphs
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well developed with further explanation and examples.
Conclusion
Aim to present balanced views before providing your opinion. Use the conclusion to summarize the discussion effectively and restate your opinion.
Coherence
Enhance the logical progression of ideas using a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences.
Support and Examples
Develop supporting arguments with specific examples and explanations to strengthen your essay.
Grammar and Sentence Structure
Check for grammatical mistakes and ensure the use of complex sentence structures where appropriate.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: